Part 10: Where To Go From Here

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N/N's POV

I woke up to a warm glow entering the room, a dim light slowly becoming brighter. I opened my eyes, once again waking up to the blank metallic room; this room still feels so foreign to me. With Seán sleeping a few inches in front of me I quietly sit up to look out at the sea life passing by. I can feel myself smile at the streams of light shinning through the waves and onto both the luminescent sand and the coral surrounding the safe zone. Fish scales shimmering as the sun slowly rises. Looking out into the ocean was peaceful, tranquil. It was easy to feel interconnected with the world around me like this, to feel like I belong somewhere. I'd nearly forgotten what it felt like. If I hadn't been taken here against my will and without any knowledge of why I'd be more than happy to stay. Unfortunately that's not the case here.

I hadn't realized Seán had been holding my hand until he stirred in his sleep, gently gripping for a brief moment. I look back to him and wonder what he could be dreaming about. Home probably, he's got family and friends back on Earth to worry about. They all do, I would think. He looks happy.

I watch as he shifts himself over affectively wrapping his other arm around our hands, I guess I'm not the only one who sleeps better with someone else's presence. Then again, he's probably capable of sleeping on his own before reaching total exhaustion unlike me.

His nose brushes against my wrist and I can feel the heat in my face spread up to my ears. I think if I were able to sleep next to him for the rest of our time here, I'd be happy. I feel like I can trust him to some degree, and he makes me smile. Laugh. I feel safer since we started to get to know each other, though I doubt he'd agree. I don't think I'd be able to ask him to stay with me again if I tried, my fears and anxiety tend to be crippling in times like those.

I gently intertwine our fingers and I lay back down beside him, the only thing between us being our own hands. It's been so long since I've felt anything remotely like this, and honestly it's difficult not to panic. It's terrifying, but I still missed it regardless of all the risks and pain that tend to follow.

His brow furrows and I find myself instinctually closing my eyes knowing he's about to open his. Why is that an instinct? Am I afraid of him thinking I was looking at him? Or that he'll notice I still held his hand when I woke up? Maybe I just don't want to let go yet. I've never been good at navigating my own feelings, so I don't really know which one it is for sure.

I feel his hand brush stray hairs from my face; not knowing what else to do I open my eyes, blinking a few times before focusing on his. I watch his face turn pink as he pulls his hand away and I realize I'm not sure I know how to see his face without smiling anymore.

"Good morning N/N!"

"Morning Seán." I chuckle," You do realize I'm only like 3 inches away right? You don't need to shout."

He scrunches up and whispers back to me.

"sorry."

I laugh at his antics and he smiles brightly at me.

"Should we get ready for the meeting thing?" I ask.

"I doubt anybody else is awake yet, but we can if you want to! I am pretty comfy though."

"Yeah me too, but I really need to pee right now."

"Alright, I GUESS you can leave me here to go pee!" He rolls over dramatically, throwing his arms over his face.

"Whatever you say nerd."

I get up to use the bathroom, glancing back to see him smiling under his arms as I enter the bathroom. I sit down on the toilet and my concerns proved to be accurate, my period started. Fuck!! I've already been bleeding a lot and now I have this to deal with? Wonderful. What do we even have that I can use? I don't wanna do this...

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