tormented | e.d

t r a p p e d | 1.

trapped. conflicted. disturbed.
nobody could prepare me for the pain i was destined to endure. nor that the pain i felt would be enthralled with an unsightly pleasure.
my thoughts were aggressive, they were indecisive. i loathed him, but my mind juxtaposed this, i loved him. i was a fool to ever let someone take advantage of my every living moment, but he took advantage of me for both good and bad. if only i had paid attention to the voices in my head, including the voices around me.

my mother was adamant in a strong, catholic relationship. she was impeccably intelligent, with a smile that could light any sky in the darkest of nights. distressingly, this also inflicted a capacious overhaul of anger that would flush like the roughest of oceans if i were to ever but a foot out of line. however, i was none other than a suck-up towards her, as she was the only parental figure i had guiding me through the misfortunes that life beheld. she was a beacon of hope for me, she kept me sane, but her religion sometimes become prominent in her judgement towards my actions. After my father left, she found spirituality which helped her overcome the dramatic loss that enthralled her thoughts for an eternity. therefore, she believed in faithfulness and companionship, which became something i found hard to accomplish. another strong belief that continued to be taught to me as a child, was to always tell the truth. initially, it seems fair enough, right? but how can you tell your mother that the man you love so dearly was the man who drew you to tears every night, leaving you motionless in a realm of negativity?

i was zealous and determined always to follow my mothers beliefs, but life became a struggle and a breeze all at the same time when a mysterious figure by the name of ethan became prominent in my life...