I've never been a good relationship person. I have a type, the type that are hard to keep because they are hard to control. I like the challenge. I don't ever understand how the pretty and popular girls like those guys who overtan and inherit boats and trucks from their daddy's. They are meant for each other honestly. But then there are the girls who have a new boy toy every other week and each week, they talk about how much they love each other but then one other girl looks at their man wrong, and all hell breaks loose. I don't understand.
I see the deeper things. I see their pain, to them I'm just a mean looking chick with anxiety. I try but I can't ever fit in, I don't want to. I don't want people to like me for my looks, I want them to see me for who I am, my gentle and beautiful side. I have blue hair, piercings in my face, tattoos on my skin, I wear black clothes sometimes, and sometimes I wear cute ones. But if you could see me for me, then you would know, I have blue hair because I like to show my difference and I like the color on me, I have piercings and tattoos because they don't make me perfect and I don't want people to like me for what they see on me, I wear my weird clothes because they're comfortable and I like to show that sometimes I could be just like everyone else, but I am not.
I found a guy. I think he is beautiful, I might text him too much when I worry and I might overthink the tiniest things. But he sees past my scary disguise, he sees something that I don't. I love him for that. He is so calm and angry but like I said, I like a challenge. He doesn't see himself as beautiful but damn do I. Every little thing is beautiful with him. His anger is powerful and his calmness is so peaceful. His eyes are lakes enticing me to come in and his skin is a warm blanket I lay my cheek against at night to cry on and wrap my arms around tightly. His hair is a maze that I play with and pull to tease. His face is like a gods, strong and tired. His mouth with lips that curl into a crescent moon, brightening my days. His hands are toys, that I hold tightly and dear to me. His nose is a button that I push mine against when I hold his face. I love him for who he is and he for who I am. He is a beautiful guy, whether he sees it or not, I do.
