Lost Track

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"Are you sure about this?" asked Mirden the moment na kinuwento ko sa kanya ang mga naging reflections ko sa loob ng isang linggo na pagmumukmok sa kwarto. Andito kami ngayon sa bahay. It's Sunday and she visited me here only to tell me na marami akong icatch up na mga lessons dahil sa absences ko. Crap, she just reminded me of Math and all, nasusuka ako.

"Yes," matipid kong sagot sa tanong nya.

I should never let myself feel what the old me feels. Ibabaon ko na sa limot ang sakit at ala-alang natitira ko sa kanya that's why I made a decision na papasok na bukas. I think I'm ready to face him. Or maybe not.

"He said I should forget about him, so I will do it. I will definitely do it." I added with full bitterness. The more I imagined his face the last time I saw him in the cafeteria, the more I wanted to rip his head off. Ang kapal talaga ng mukha ng gangster na 'yon para magpakita pang muli sakin.

Humalaklak naman ng malakas si Mirden na parang baliw sa kanto. I gave her my deadliest glare but all she did was ignore me while shaking her head na parang hindi makapaniwala sa narinig. As far as I remember, wala akong kahit anong sinabi na nakakatawa.

"Alam mo, Ky? You sound bitter." She said, emphasizing the word bitter while wiping her tears away dahil sa katatawa. I just rolled my eyes at her at gigil na kinagat ang pizza. I swear to God, isusunod ko si Mirden kay Henrik.

"I'm not, kaya tigilan mo 'yan or I'm going to cut your tounge!" I hissed sabay tapon ng unan sa kanya.

She just shrugged and made one of those "You-cannot-lie-to-my-face" look. Gah! This was so frustrating!

After a couple of minutes, we fell into a momentary silence. I feel so tired to the point na ihiga ko lang ang ulo ko sa sahig feeling ko heaven na. My eyes look like I haven't slept for years and my hair is frozen up like a pine tree. The ability to sleep had slipped out of my system last week. Umiyak ba naman buong magdamag.

"Ky?"

"Hm?"

"I've been trying not to say this to you these past few days but I totally can't help myself right now," I heard her sighed kaya lumingon ako sa kanya. "Henrik transferred to your class, Ky."

What. The.

***
Today's Monday and I loathe it. My fists clenched as I began to walk towards my first subject room. It took me a lot of courage to go here after I heard a terrible news from Mirden. Tsk!

"Henrik transferred to your class, Ky."

"Henrik transferred to your class, Ky."

"Henrik transferred to your class, Ky."

Her words still echoed in my mind na parang sirang plaka. Ugh! I still don't get him. He must be so stupid if he didn't know that it's not helping me if he would transfer to my class, or if he did know, he just wanted to play with my feelings. Screw you, Henrik!

"Yes, Miss? Are you up to something?" a teacher asked me that snapped me back to reality.

Nilibot ko ang tingin sa classroom and I realized na maling room pala ang napasukan ko. Guess my thoughts carried me to another world, huh.

"Wrong room, sorry." I said, shaking my head to clear the thoughts that keep on bothering me. The teacher then continue his discussion at umalis na ako sa tapat ng door. Hindi pa ako nakakaisang oras dito pero napahiya na naman ako. I sighed.