to be pretty | 2018

VII

IT wasn't uncommon for Alene to spend hours in a day in front of a mirror, pointing out each flaw she recognised.

Her eyes just caught every reflective surface they could, taunting her dangerously.

Then larger mirrors just amplified everything she found wrong with herself.

Her eyes were too small.

Her lips were to thin.

Her hips were too big.

Her cheeks were too fat.

Why did her eyes squint too much?

Why did her lips grow so taunt when she didn't smile?

Why did her hips never lose weight when she tried so hard?

Why did her cheeks not rise perfectly when she faked a smile?

She hated everything she saw so deeply. She wanted it all to change.

God, if she could just see someone else in the mirror, maybe she wouldn't feel like she was dragging herself through each day, this unknown sadness pumping through her veins.

Alena forced herself to smile, taking a deep breath.

Maybe she could fool herself into believing she was happy. Maybe she could pull herself from this vicious circle of hate.

Her smile fell.

She was so tired.

Of it all.

Her heart jumped to her throat when the doors swung open, entering the girl into an entirely different world where, maybe, she could be saved from herself.