Nothing

Chapter 49

My voice boomed as I yelled at the bartender, the bouncer forcefully pulling me out of the club. Harry and Zayn were confused, following and yelling behind me. "Get your fucking hands off me ." I spit in his face thrashing around. As I was thrown into the street people began flashing pictures as Zayn helped me up. 'What happened Louis, oh my god."

I got in a fight

I punched the bartender

I threw a beer bottle at the wall

I was cursing at some random chick because her name was Cassidy

"I'm going fucking crazy is what's happening Zayn."

For her. For that Bitch who threw me into the street and left me to go out of my mind. I shouldn't be thinking about her but I just can't stop it.

"Fuck Cassy. Fuck her to Hell and beyond."

"Youre better off without her anyways", Zayn said trying to calm me but caused the opposite effect.

I pushed Zayn away from me angrily. I don't want comfort, I want to have this break down. It's my turn.

"And Fuck Lindsey too, she crawled up from the pits of Hell." I pointed my remark toward Niall, just incase he was still indeed with her.

"But most of all Screw myself. I'm just a pitiful cheater."

By now people had gathered around the street around me, snapping pictures and taking videos but I couldn't care less. "Louis please calm down." Harry tried to wrap his hands around me but I stepped back. " Louis please..." He stepped toward me again but this time I forcefully pushed him back. He stumbled as a look of shock appeared among his face.

"Cassy Matthews , You ruined me and all I ever was. I loved you yet you tore me down. I tried so hard for you but you pushed me away. Fuck you. Fuck you for being so perfect."

I was shouting to the random people around me but it was all for her. It was to her and to fate. Our future had always been laid out for us. Fate played us along, breaking both our hearts.

"You damned me fate, and for that I fucking hate you."

To what overpowering force I was talking to I don't know but I meant every word.

I pushed past people as I yelled every curse word in the book toward Cassy and to fate. Some words were for Lindsey as well. I was so totally drunk, practically tripping over myself. Everyone probably thought I was crazy, but to me it made perfect sense. I've been waiting for this breakdown, I know Harry and probably Liam have been too.

Speaking of them, they are all following behind me, calling my name and trying to get me to stop. I can't though, I don't want to.

I stopped suddenly, Liam who had been jogging toward me hit my back. Completely drunk I budged forward and fell to the ground. "Oh my God Louis are you ok?"

I sighed , pulling myself up and waving off his helping hand. I just stood there looking at the sky. Liam was talking but I had no clue what he was saying. All I was thinking about was her .

I turned around and pulled my phone out of my pocket, walking slowly away from Liam and the other guys who had caught up to me.

I dialed in her number, knowing it by heart. Ring after ring I waited with no answer. When it seemed hopeless, when deep down I knew she wasn't going to ever answer me again, she did.

People still crowded around me, the boys trying to talk to me but I heard no one but her. Cassy's voice was soft and quiet, I Couldn't help but smile at hearing her.

"Hello?"

It was questioning, as if she didn't know it was me.

"Cassy, it's me."

It was quiet for a second, no response, and I began to panic thinking she hung up.

"Cassy are you-"

"Yes Louis, I'm here", she interrupted. She sounded a little broken

What do I say? I honestly didn't expect her to answer. What was I supposed to do? I wanted to yell at her, damn her to hell for the pain she has caused me, but I can't.

Because for every trouble she ever caused me she gave me two great memories. For every foul word she threw at me, she gave me twice as many kisses.

She may have broke me this once, but without her who would I even be in the first place?

So instead of saying my drunken hated words I said the ones I would have said to her if I had got to her before she left.

"Cassy Matthews, daughter of Frey and George Matthews, sister of Chloe Matthews, I love you."She said nothing back, whether it had be an interruption or mutual confession, so I continued on.

"I know I pushed you away, and you may never want me again, but I can't let you live on thinking I chose someone else over you. That is not what happened. Both me and you are aware of my mistakes. I was the beginning of our relationship failure. You are so much stronger than me, probably living it high. I am not doing so well. I can not continue to pretend that I am ok without you. I am struggling ,day after day, a heart full of pain. I have so many people here for me yet I feel that none of them matter because they just arent you.

I understand that you don't still feel the same way I do, I hurt you and broke the trust you had given me. I expect no apology. I am not calling you to convince you to love me again Cassy. Despite how amazing and ultimately rewarding that would be, I know its impossible at this point. You have moved on, as strong as I knew you would. You're beginning a new chapter in your life. Australia, your family, and a new firm keeping you stable. I call you simply to let you know that I do love you. I call to to let you know that I choose no one over you, ever. But most importantly, I call to apologize for all the mistakes I ever made with you and any pain I may have caused. You were my greatest gift, stole from my hands by fate."

I was now crying, still surrounded by people, the guys trying to move me through the crowd.

I waited and waited for her response but nothing came. She was still on the line, I had checked, but it was silent.

"Cassy please say something."

Anything. I just wanted her to say something. Even a "Goodbye Louis" would have worked. Something to seal the deal, I wanted a goodbye. I had just given her one so it was only fair that she give me one too.

But I heard Nothing