Murderer | Incomplete

(1) Smile

I have lived my life in over 10 different places. Constantly moving. It's not such a bad thing if you look at it in a fresh start sorta way. Mom and Dad never told me why we were always moving. I never asked and so they never answered. I always suspected it was new jobs for Dad or bigger houses (even though they all felt like the same size.). It wasn't fun moving, in fact, I hated it. The only good thing that came out of it was moving schools...

I lived most of my middle school and high school years as the 'hot mean girl'. I earned that title by rejecting most of the boys that confessed to me. I was hot because guys loved my looks and didn't care for my personality. I was 'mean' because I never reciprocated the lover's feelings. And I was a girl because I was young, naive, and that's my gender. 

Moving always relieved me of that title... for a little while. I would always end up 'rude', 'selfish', 'mean', and 'hot'. My looks were way too much of a good thing. I still sometimes wish I was ugly so I wouldn't have guys falling for me. So I wouldn't be the hot mean girl anymore. So people wouldn't love me. So people wouldn't hate me. They might not even notice me. 

I tightened my grip on the leather steering wheel. My body was on the seat but my head was up in the clouds. Imagining, all the things that could go wrong for my 13th 'first day of high school'. I joined late so everyone will be talking about the new girl. I pushed the pedal harder and sped down the road, to the gates of hell. 

I shoved the car door open wide and wobbled outside in my baggy hoodie. My legs shook and my face felt pale. I pulled the hood over my head, like a turtle hiding in its shell. I sprinted to the courtyard with my hoodie sagging low to my thigh. I clung my books to my chest and my eyes to the ground, trying to avoid eye contact. My pace seemed steady and swift as I sliced through the water-like crowd. 

I ran up the stone steps trying my hardest to reach the doors unnoticed. My foot caught the edge of the deathly stone stairs and sent me flying forward. It all happened as if it were in slow motion. My arms out in front of me and my books spread out in all directions. My hood slipped off and my curly, brown hair was revealed. I closed my eyes and braced for hard impact.

I felt a soft pair of arms wrap around my shaking body. I held two shoulders. I buried my head into what felt like a chest. I felt the comforting, rapid heartbeat of the human wall. I felt the blood rush up to my cheeks as I pulled away from this Mr. No-Name-Kid. My heart drummed loud and my breathing quickened. 

His eyes were green as emeralds, deeply staring into my eyes. They were the kind of eyes to get lost in. His hair as dark as the midnight sky. Perfectly messy and placed on top of his pretty face. I searched his face, in the small moment I had, desperately looking for a flaw to push me away. We stood there in our perfect moment of forever. Just me and Mr. No-Name-Kid. Our arms wrapped around each other and our faces as red as rose petals. 

"A-are you okay?" Voices and whispers blurred my vision.

I looked up helplessly at Mr. No-Name-Kid and nodded quickly.

"No broken bones?" He asked once again with sincerity. 

I nodded again mesmerized by his eyes. Oh, his lush, green, hypnotizing eyes. 

I looked down out our position. My face went red and my eyes blank. I shoved away with my arms out like two big metal poles. I scrunched up my nose and shut my eyes. "Sorry! So, so, sorry!" My sleeves slipped down over my hands as I kneeled down picking up my giant mess. The concrete floor felt like ice on my bare legs. My breathing quickened as I desperately tried picking up my books. One by one. 

"Ss-sorry," Tears welled in my eyes and a weird feeling sank in my heart. I looked at a chipping away cover. Worn out by love. I placed my hand on the cover, or what I thought was the cover. This cover was soft and felt soothing. This cover felt so right underneath my shaking hands. I looked at my hand, which was not on a cover at all. Rather, Mr. No-Name-Kid's hand. My hand jolted back, startled and kind of afraid. "Sorry."

"Please don't mention it. For your sake." Mr. No-Name-Kid returned the book. He places his soft hand on top of my hand and smiled a warm smile.

My heart sank and a whole zoo was released into my stomach. I gave a weak grin back.

He chuckled a small chuckle before his green eyes ran away to everywhere behind me. His face grew a slight shade of pale, draining the rosy from his cheeks. "I'm sorry," He said abruptly. He stood up form our moment and ran. 

I felt my breathing stop and my heart sink further down. Eyes. Eyes glued to my back. Glued to my skin. Glued to me. Whispering ran in and out through my ears. Whispering in my head. Whispering through my memories. The sound familiar, but never something to get used to. I stood up slowly, like a wounded pregnant lady, and ran. I ran away from the eyes. Away from the whispers. Away from the past. 

With my hood over my head and my tears streaming down my cheeks I ran. I ran past my locker and to the bathroom. Heat or cold don't bother me. Dry or soaking wet doesn't bother me. Now I'm just empty. I opened the stall door and sat down, hugging my knees to my chest. This was way worse than what I ever could imagine for the first day.