🦋 // these are all just made up stories that i had written down about my past events when i was younger. some are true, mostly relationships and stuff, but some are just what popped up onto my mind.
i write sad imagines, also just know that none o...
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my boyfriend, mattia, and i have been dating for almost nine months. i love him, but he hurts me. he hurts me both physically and mentally. when he's mad, he hits me and pushes me a lot. i tried telling him so many times that he shouldn't hurt me the way he does, but he says that what he does do, doesn't hurt me - im just a cry baby. he obviously doesn't understand.
a few days ago, i was walking through mattia's neighborhood with him, my friend, grace, and his friend, kairi. we were all joking around but he pushed me really hard onto the ground, not thinking about how he is so much stronger than me. he then twisted my arm and kept holding me onto the ground. did he think this was funny? did he think this didn't hurt me? im only about 110 lbs and 5'0, who knows what he was thinking.
i told mattia to stop - that he was really hurting me. grace was waking in front of us, just looking down at her phone, not even realizing what finn was doing while kairi just stood there and laughed. it hurt me to see that mattia was getting a crack out of this with kairi. what was so funny about hurting your girlfriend?
he was suppose to love me, not hurt me everyday. everyday since the second month of us, there has been abuse. physical and mental. getting him angry, scared me more than anything. each day, i never knew why was going to happen - i just always knew something worse would happen.
he always says that i make him mad and that i never make him happy anymore - i try so hard though to make him happy. everyday i try to keep him in a good mood but no. it always my fault. always.
he says hurtful things to me like, "why are you even here?", "you're a bitch." or, "ill hurt you, i don't care." it hurts me so badly. il need to leave him, but when? how? i love him. i can't leave.
