[Vkook] My King

The Avowal

[Back to the present]

After the incident, Taehyung avoided him like the plague for two full weeks.

At first, Jungkook is fine with it; Taehyung needed his space, and so does Jungkook, so it's a win-win. Every time they crosses path on the halls or the garden, they'd shook off each other's presence on a whim and pretended they were complete strangers – which was excellent, because Jungkook didn't want to address their situation anyway.

But then the time stretches into three weeks, and then four, and it started rose a strong and ugly feeling in Jungkook's gut – he misses his brother. Which was far beyond odd, since as far as theories goes, he should be thrilled for the turn of events. Taehyung was a sickening bundle of good-intents and kindness, and Jungkook was supposed to have enough of that already, so the longing that settled within his heart actually came as a shock to him.

A part of him admitted it, although only to some extent. Taehyung never was insignificant to him, and perhaps he never will be – so of course the elder's absence would have some sort of an effect on him.

But another part of him, the more prideful one, suggested that it was just the routine that he missed. People tend to miss the constant little things they have in their life – perhaps Jungkook was no different. Perhaps he just misses the regularity of having someone writhing under him every night, or the simple warmth of another human's body accompanying him under the sheets.

Well, whichever it was; Jungkook fucking missed it. And now, more than ever, he wanted it back.

Problem was, however, everytime Jungkook decided that he's had enough of the loneliness and had came up with a plan to confront his brother and convince him to come back and be his servant like he had promised, Jungkook finds himself faced with an obstacle, which turned out to be; the very incident that led to his current irony.

"I wish I don't."

Jungkook snarled to himself and shook the intrusive voice off his mind. No, Taehyung cannot be in love with him. Jungkook refused to acknowledge it. Taehyung may like him despite all the things he's done, and that's fine, the damn bloke likes everybody he's ever crossed path with afterall – maybe except Bogum, but that one was out of context – but Taehyung cannot be fucking in love with him.

It's just – it's wrong, and though Jungkook usually don't care much for moral violations, he decided to make this one a special case.

For one, his whole purpose of tormenting the elder through all these times is not to make Taehyung fall for him. His purpose, although perhaps very trivial, are clear; he wanted to degrade his brother as much as he can. He just, he wanted to be –

Jungkook brought his train of thoughts into a halt right there. No. That one he refused to admit. He might need to address it one day, but not today; today he will go through his miserable day and pretend that he's in a better condition than his brother.

'Yeah,' Jungkook told himself internally, 'That's a good plan.'– and, no, it actually isn't, but at the moment he'll pretend that it is. Jungkook took a slow, long breath and then sighed them out just as slowly. 'Easy as ever.' he says to himself again– getting through weeks, months, or even years without having Taehyung by his side isn't as bad as it may seem. He could deal with it.

And deal with it he does. For exactly another three weeks, that is– before he grew completely frustrated and started to let his emotions get the best of him. Apparently, Jungkook isn't as patient as he'd like to be.

So one late evening, he stalked down the halls to his brother's chambers and barged in as soon as he found the doors. Mind reeling with excuses and smart words to say so that he'd be able to bend Taehyung the way he wanted, just like how he were able to just a number of weeks ago.

Yet the view that greeted him was one that caught him off guard; Taehyung was sleeping soundly on his bed, with his arms curled around his knees, and his eyes red-rimmed and brimming with what seemed to be tears.

Jungkook blinks once, twice, and then a couple more times. Shock couldn't even begin to describe how he felt. Did Taehyung cry himself to sleep? And if he did, how long had this been going on? Jungkook had figured that the incident would leave Taehyung ashamed and devastated, but not– not this much.

Proud, strong, and kingly Taehyung – his boisterous and undefeatable elder brother; since when had he turned into this pathetic mess? As far as Jungkook could tell it was he who used to cry himself to sleep– since when had Taehyung started doing the same thing?

For some strange reason, Jungkook does not feel content at the newfound knowledge. Theoretically speaking, he should be overjoyed– but he's not; he's really not, dare he even say it saddened him. Sighing, Jungkook took small, silent steps to get closer to his brother's sleeping form and stretches out his arm to pet the elder's soft, brown locks in an unconscious attempt to soothe him.

He does just that for quite a while, and then stopped to rub on his temples and stared off into the distance. "How did it come to this?" he asked to himself more than anything else, his contained emotions starting to slip off it's cage. "I only –" Jungkook stopped himself; this is stupid. He's confessing to an unconscious man, Taehyung wouldn't hear this – yet even with the knowledge, Jungkook's sentiment still forced their way out.

"I only wanted," Jungkook stopped again, but this time only because he couldn't hold back a sob, "–to be your equal."

Jungkook groaned when the guilt started to slip into his bones and then practically ripped himself away from his brother. Enough with this haunting distress–Jungkook needed to vent them out of his system, or at least, at the very least, he needed to talk this out with someone; and he knew exactly who he should come to.

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*cough* You guys, Jungkook needs love too *Cough**sob*

Still though, tell me what you think about this chapter :DDD

Next chapter comes up this Friday!