I need it.
I crave it.
I'd give anything to have what he has.
I want my ribs to ripple under my skin -
To look skeletal,
To look beautiful.
Just to have my body look like what I am;
Remains.
Remains of traumas and abuse -
Unwanted sex and hospital visits.
My mind is just remains,
Thoughts that are scattered.
I want my body to show that.
To look as I will when I die;
There's something gorgeously tragic about that.
And he has it.
He has that tragedy and beauty.
The skin that's as pale as snow,
Eyes that shine even on the darkest of days,
The jawline that's sharp enough to cut the toughest of fruits;
He has the shadows,
The bones that stick out with each movement.
He's everything I want and everything I'm not.
I'd give anything to have what he has -
I'd give anything to be thin.
