Fade Away || Got7 Ljb

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The next morning also TRIGGER WARNING
Mentions of physical abuse and rape
-

I woke at 11am with a pounding headache.
I heard my tv on and I was quite surprised.
I took my baseball bat and ran to the tv room to see Jaebum seated there watching tv.

"What are you doing here?"

"I want to speak to you"

"Why Jaebum"

"I need to"

I looked at my legs and noticed the scars. I quickly ran and said

"Five minutes but let me get dressed"

"Thank you"

----

"Start"

"I know what I did was wrong. I was supposed to tell you and I'm sorry I didn't. I just- I wanted to be someone. I wanted to make a name for myself. I-"

"You were someone to me. Yes what you did was wrong, I forgave you long ago I'm just still heartbroken because you left before.."

"Before what Seokmin?"

"Just leave it Jae"

I regret calling him Jae.
That was what I used to call him when we were kids.
I really missed him.
I really loved him.

"You haven't called me that since we were 16."

"I know and I'd like to keep it that way"

I walked over to the balcony and took out a cigarette.
I stared at my chipped black nail polish and thin arms.
The arms with scars that told many stories.

"Stop it"

"What?"

"Smoking"

"You're not my father. Hell I wouldn't even listen to him. It's not like he listened to me"

"What do you mean?"

"My mom died. My father blamed it on me. He said I was the reason she cheated and I was the reason she died. After she died, I was hit. Multiple times. Not only that, I was t-touched, in ways only partners could should be able to do with each other. Night after night, it wouldn't stop. This went on for two years. Eventually when I turned eighteen I got a job and moved out. Been living here ever since"

The look on Jaebum's face, it showed disgust, hurt and anger.

"You're disgusted in me aren't you"

"No. Never. You did nothing wrong Minnie"

"Don't call me that"

"Sorry, Seokmin. I'm disgusted in myself and your father. If I didn't leave then-"

"Then nothing Jaebum. Nothing, you wouldn't have been able to stop it. He still invited people over, we still looked perfect. You wouldn't have known"

Then Jaebum suddenly cane up to me and flicked the cigarette. Before I could scold him he hugged me. He held onto me for dear life. I missed his hugs. They were the warmest thing you could ever feel. You could feel the affection and care from it.

I then gave in and hugged him back.
A sigh of relief left his lips.

I missed this.

I missed him

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Happy new year x