i'm no good without you || j.d (short story)

i'm no good without you

hey ya'll! happy new year! here's a treat for 2018. it's so effed up but it's something that i did to better my writing and ig this was just the idea. happy new year, and enjoy !!!

trigger warnings: MAJOR SMUT, arguing, self harm, blood, mentions of depression and other mental illnesses, domestic violence (yelling, throwing things etc.) and suicide (SORRY IN ADVANCE)

The rain spat at the black umbrellas violently. They were in a tight cluster on the muddy and wet gravel path. Everytime someone moved, the gravel made a crunching popping noise, causing a few heads to look up and a few faces to stir.

There was a desolate mood sweeping the group as people looked forlorn and despondent, all probably lost in thought or not thinking at all. There were a few sobs here and there echoing throughout the vast cemetery, but one person in particular, who suffered the greatest loss, couldn't feel a thing. Guilt maybe, for not doing anything. Or worse, doing as much as one could, and it wasn't nearly enough.

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Knock. Knock. Knock.

No one answered the door. A grunt came from the front of the house as the jingling of keys was heard. The lock clicked, opening gradually, revealing an empty and quiet house.

"Hello? Babe are you home?"

A yawn escaped Josh's mouth as he wheeled his cases through the hall, and up the stairs. He clutched the bouquet of snapdragons and sweetpeas tightly under his arm. Her favourites. His steps were sluggish, and his feet were dragging along the carpet. The skin under his eyes had dark bags pooling below them and his eyelids were threatening to shut mid step if he didn't sleep soon.

When he opened the door of the bedroom, a sudden ear piercing screech filled the room. A towel hit his face, his nose scrunching in confusion. He slowly opened his eyes, a half clothed body standing before him.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to walk in on you, babe," Josh yawned again.

"It's okay, I was just showering. I would've answered the door, but I was wet."

"Damn, should've waited for me to have a shower with you," Josh teased as his lips curled into a small smile, knees weak at the thought.

Y/N punched him playfully on the shoulder and they both laughed. Josh set his bags down.

"Hey, you bought me flowers?" Y/N's voice lit up with excitement at the sight of them.

"Of course babe. I saw them at the airport and I knew they were your favorites, I just had to."

"Aw baby, you're the best." She kissed his scratchy stubble ridden cheek softly, sending warmth through his exhausted body.

She took them gently from him and let the sweet, exultant scent fill her nostrils. She beamed, and her eyes glistened with relief that Josh was home, as she set them on her nightstand before sitting on the bed. Josh lay beside her and shut his eyes, looking as if he was about to fall asleep.

"So the rest of the tour was okay?" Y/N asked.

"Mhm. Good. Tiring, but good. I wish you could've stayed longer," Josh mumbled as his mind started drifting.

"I'm glad baby. It's okay, it was only short and there's next tour anyway,"

"I know. It's gonna be nice to have you with me so you can see more of the shows, and we don't have to be apart from each other,"

"I can't wait to see you up there,"

He received a small peck on the forehead as he began slipping into a peaceful slumber.