Life as a teenager: pros & cons

Teenage Hood

Death has never looked so amazing! You dont understand how much I hate parties or get-togethers or shit like that. It would be fine if you knew them and they were the same age as you but no. Why do mothers drag us along to these? It just isnt fair. Do they care? No! They always say: it will be fun and you will be out of the house for once then if youre brave enough or rather stupid enough you would fight back as to why you shouldnt go. It never works unless its a school night and youve got homework due the very next day or you have physically thrown your guts up; they always want evidence. And if you have never faced such a thing your Mum is literally God. You lucky bastards!

Then whilst youre out, there are things you can and cant do. Example of what you CAN do: youre allowed to get your own food and drink. Example of what you CANT do: go on your phone otherwise its seen as rude! Even if youre texting your grandma who you havent seen in several months. And the things you have to do: make short or long conversation with at least 2 or more people you have never seen in your life yet they know, nearly, everything about you and give you their whole life story. To look like you care/listening you wear the fakest smile in the world on your face, nod your head in agreement or shake your head in disagreement and every now and then say yup, yeah, totally or even the noise hmm. Also, dont forget the fake laugh otherwise your a dead man or women. Its like their whole life depends on your judgment.

Always and I mean always bring a friend/sibling or if theyre not available bring your bloody pet. It doesnt matter what pet if its a venomous snake thats even better. As boredom is like the plague but it only affects the young but not too young and mostly the antisocial people as theyre the best victims.

The worst parties or get-togethers whatever you call them are the ones nowhere near your house as they is no escape. You just have to keep wishing for that black hole or the floor to swallow you up. However, if youre near your house you make sure you bring that spare key and when no one is looking make a run for it and remember that day for the rest of your life.

Thats not even the best bit. The best thing about the party would be if youre mother is the one and only hosting it. God has blessed you with all his might. All you have to do is be there when they arrive, say hello then you disappear into the pit known as your bedroom. Get your tv or laptop/computer or youre phone whatever, get YouTube open as well as Netflix and binge watch everything you love. If you then, somehow, get bored get up your favourite playlist and make your own party. After you have exhausted yourself maybe read a book. But if youre not into that (what the heck is wrong with you?! Erm sorry moving on) make sure you have food that should last around 2 and a half weeks but you manage to eat it in one night maybe even 2 hours tops.

If hell turns out to be like this, I am doomed and I forever hope Im going to heaven. I will now start going to church every day and pray to go to heaven. But what if heaven turns out to be like this? There is no way of knowing or even winning you just got to play your cards right. I wish you the best Xx