THE SPIDER FIC (phan crackfic) : cowritten by @sdmccormick and mE

THE SPIDER FIC

Ages 7+

Dan and Phil were taking a midnight stroll through the deep, thickening forest. They had gone on dates often simply, like staying home and baking from Delia Smith recipes, or playing video games till 4am, or sometimes just snuggling up with each other, falling asleep to the steady music the rain and thunder created together on stormy nights in London. But today, Phil wanted to change it up a bit. He thought it'd be romantic and mysterious to take a midnight date in a forest neither he nor Dan had ever been to. He insisted upon the most beautiful however, and by 12am, they were leaving their flat and walking towards this perfect forest.

Somehow, Phil knew just where to go.

And the atmosphere was enchanting. Stars were woven across the deep, navy sky, and seemed to twinkle just for them. They were holding hands in a small meadow that the forest had seemed to create itself. It was absolutely perfect.

"Hey Phil, look at that! A full moon!" Dan said with utter joy. Phil would often roll his eyes at Dan's cheekiness, but today, Phil felt a bit different. He felt strangely confused and had an urge to kill, but also at the same time, was feeling very sexual. He was thirsty for blood.

"Phil, are you alright"? Dan asked. Phil didn't respond.

Why was Phil reacting this way? Everything was going well until Dan had mentioned the full moon.

"Phil, answer me," he said taking hold of Phil's hand, which seemed to have grown. He quickly pulled away from his grip, as if it were a reflex. What was he doing? He had no idea. Before he could tell Dan what he was feeling, all of a sudden, he felt a sharp pain in his eyes. Phil's iris was churning, from a soft, loving blue, to a dark, deep red.

"Ph-Ph-Phil?" Dan stuttered. Wind was blowing and blew over his fringe and his arms, forming goosebumps.

Phil was feeling pain all over from head to toe. He felt sudden cramps coming from where his muscles had used to be. Since Dan had introduced him to Maltesers, all that was left were flabs of skin. He thought he had been walking with a great force and forgot to do stretches before walking, but no, he wasn't hiking. He was only walking. These definitely weren't pains from physical activity. It felt like Satan had possessed his soul, corrupting him into this inhuman shape, fur instantly spreading all across his body. He felt fangs grow in, and his ears grew longer, and narrower. He felt his whole body transforming.

Dan, who was in his own little land, was only 2 feet away from Phil, forgetting this sudden change in Phil's behavior, and was mindlessly browsing through Tumblr.

"Good 3G here. Who would've known," he chuckled to himself, still unaware of this vortex of change Phil seemed to be falling into unknowingly.

They seemed to have been walking for hours, and Dan, who had finally put his phone away and was once again gripping Phil's hands--or should it be now called paws--tightly, still clueless of the change his partner had just been put through. It was only until Dan looked up at Phil, expecting to see the fringe swept across his forehead so effortlessly that was now replaced by ratchet weave fur.

Dan, thinking that all the screen light from his phone was causing him astigmatism, didn't worry about it at all, until Phil started continuously howling at the moon.

Dan thought that this was quite cute at first, but then after the next thirty-six times, he found it a bit irritating.

"Okay Phil, it was cute the first thirty-five times you howled, but now, it's just gotten a bit annoying. Could you please shut the fuck up you musty dusty crusty ass hoe, just for a minute?"

Phil couldn't take it anymore and, roaring a mighty roar, plunged himself on top of him.

He started to penetrate into Dan's bum hole.