My Melancholic Thoughts

Bottomless pit

Right now I am in bottomless pit - there is a floor but it just goes on and on - it is dark and I am tired but I can't sleep. There are things that were once important to me and they still kinda are but they just feel empty and waste of time.

My family is there and the few friends that I have but I don't know them anymore like they don't know me and everything is meaningless.

And I want out. I will find a new path but I get lost so easily. I always knew that there are two ways out of there. I have given up on the other one. And I am just trying to find the mystical stairs/ladders/rope which are psychiatrists talk about in the movies.

But for me it is hard to think.
Because it is dark.
And I can't see in front of me.
And I feel anxious.
I can't breathe.
My heart is bounding.
Will I survive this one or not?