Late night. Cup of coffee is my new bestfriend, wore my glasses on and listed all of the things I need to buy to the super market tomorrow.
I did everything to live my life again. I keep myself busy, I started listening to rock musics, I even cut my hair short. I am okay again, no crying before sleep and I had my appetite back.
I looked at the mirror "Bare face, pale face." I turned around and my eyes stopped. The clock says it's already 2 am, the calendar says its the 19th day of June.
We should be singing our throats out right now, or enjoy the beat of the sound, or ride his car for another unplanned roadtrip, or even slow dancing inside this room while Im humming my favorite song. This day is supposed to be our 2nd Anniversary and his 21st birthday.
I miss his scent, his irritating yet very sweet laughs, his tantalizing eyes. I miss him. But he's okay now and so am I - it's better to think that way.
I know we haven't talk since the day we separated. Things stopped working and here I am trying to get him out of my system.
I jumped on the bed and giggled in frustration. My hand reached the phone on top of the table, I know this is crazy and I don't care.
With shaking hands I still managed to dial his number. This is the hundredth time I tried to call him. And those 99 tries he always choose to ignore me. I promised myself this will be the last.
First ring, my heart is beating real fast. I wish i was immuned with all of his rejections, but this time I don't want to be disappointed.
Second ring, I'm near to letting him go. How come I called him early in the morning and expect him to be awake and answer my call?
Third ring, maybe I shouldn't have called him. I'm just making my own heart break and I will cry a - "Maddy?" Then my heart skipped a beat.
I miss that freaking voice, the way he say my name and right now I just want to cry. After a hundred tries he answered me.
"Why did you call?" He asked.
I can't find the right words to say. He laughed, he laugh so hard. "So, what is it this time, huh?" he said, sounding drunk.
"Uhmm... I- ummm... He-llo?" I freaking can't! Sana natulog nalang ako!
" Come on, Maddy. Did you miss me? Kasi ako, oo. Sobrang miss na kita! Ang sakit sakit na tang-na." Fuck-r, so he's drunk. Alright.
"Nikko, why are you drunk?" This guy is really unbelievable. Hindi siya pwedeng maglasing! He knows that. He's sick!
"Acting like you care, huh? Tell me, nagsawa ka na ba sa ibang lalake that's why you called me?" I hate his tone, I know he's drunk pero nakaka insulto na.
"You know what? Tumawag ako sayo kasi Birthday mo! Gago ka, hindi mo alam kung anong kaba ang nararamdaman ko ngayon!" I shouted on the phone.
He remained silent,
"You know what? Lasing ka. So hindi mo na matatandaan ang mga sasabihin ko ngayon. Galit ako sayo, but I miss you. Happy birthday Nikko gago! Iminom ka pa ng marami para atakihin ka ng sakit mo! Ulol!" I was catching my breath. Papatayin ko na sana ang tawag pero he said something that gave me a little heart attack.
"Sorry na." Then he sighed.
"Boom panes." Then I hung up.
