Love Robbery (Matthew Espinosa+Jack Gilinsky fanfic)

Chapter 1

*author's note* this is starting with a flashback, it is a little graphic so you can just skim it.

If you get confused, it's because you didn't read the disclaimers page (please read it, it will help)

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I stood in the bathroom, looking down at my mistake. The mistake made many times before.

Just one more.

One more drag of the blade, making a scar to join the others.

I deserve this.

The thick droplets of blood created on my wrists as I threw my head back in pain squinting my eyes.

You deserve the pain.

A tear rolled out of my eye and it wasn't even because of the pain on my wrists, but the pain in my mind. The pain in my heart, the most abundant of all.

You are worthless. Stupid. Ugly.

You screw everything up.

I would kill myself, but my death would be a burden to all the people I care about. I'm already a big enough burden. And, if I killed myself, everyone would know. Everyone would know I was weak, fragile, broken. I don't want that. This is my little secret. My escape. My punishment.

.

.

.

*one week later, present time*

My alarm clock sounded at 7:30am with an irritating, ear piercing sound and all four of us in my bedroom groaned. My best childhood friends, Tayla, Annabel, and Clara, had slept over my house because we were planning to spend the day at Coney Island. Tayla jumped out of her bed and started getting ready with ease. I, on the other hand, just turned around and tried to continue sleeping. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to go, but I just needed my sleep, it's precious. I heard loud footsteps emerging from the mirrors and vibrating the floors.

"Get up." Tayla demanded while pulling off all my bed covers. I looked over at her in annoyance. Sometimes, I wondered why I was friends with these idiots.

I rolled my eyes and got out of my bed as slowly as possible just to irritate Tayla. When I was fully out of my bed I started yelling and pulling off Annabel and Clara's covers in a playful manner.

I threw on a flowy, white, half sleeve shirt, dark jean shorts and a pair of Vans. I looked over and all the girls were applying pounds of makeup on their faces.

"Why put on so much makeup? It's just an amusement park," I said.

"Autumn, We are all available and you never know what we might find. What if I find a cute boy?" Annabel stated, extending the makeup bag towards me.

Don't mind if I do.

I searched the bag for coverup, mascara, and liquid eyeliner. I didn't really need the coverup right now, but if knew that in a few hours my dark circles would be prominent. When I was finished, I let my wavy hair free of the tight bun it was in. I looked back and all my friends looked like they were almost ready too. I got a small backpack and put my things in it.

I went downstairs and got my car keys and headed outside to turn on my car. I sat down on the warm leather seats that felt like they burned my legs. I saw the girls coming down from my apartment's door steps. They all looked so good. I looked down at myself and frowned. I looked like garbage next to them. But yet, I always do.

Why am I even associated with them? A potato like me? I'm a ugly, worthless depressed little shit. They don't deserve a burden like me. I don't deserve great people like them.