Hold Yourself (Hozier)

My heart is heavy.

    I woke up the next morning and checked the other half of the bed, as usual. However, this time, my hand met Ashley's back. With a small smile, I turned around and hugged her, pushing my body close to hers so I could smell her skin and feel her heat. After a short moment, she started to awaken and I could feel some of her muscles move.

"Good morning, love." I whispered and pressed small kisses to her neck and shoulders.

"What time is it?" She asked and turned to face me.

"It's six." Her eyes widened and before I could try to kiss her properly, she jumped out of the bed.

"Damn, I forgot to set my alarm last night! Couldn't you have reminded me to do it?"

    I got up while she her hands were shakily trying to find clean clothes. "I didn't know what time-"

"Bullshit Andrew! I've been working at the same place for two years, you know perfectly well I always start at the same time." She shouted, making me wince. It was too early to fight.

"For all I knew you could've had a day off. I'm sure you need one." I made my way to the kitchen because I needed a cup of coffee and a cigarette quite badly. I hated fighting, especially in the morning, when I thought I finally had some time with Ashley. However, when I was about to get out of the room, the door was pushed to me, and as I didn't expect that, it hit me right in the head.

    I held a cold hand to my forehead to try and make the pulse of my veins more bearable. When I looked up, I saw that Ash was in front of me, her eyes completely empty.

"It'll teach you to be more respectful to me. God, you can be so stupid and senseless." With that, she disappeared in the bathroom while I was left trying to decide if she had or not purposely hurt me.

    She didn't say goodbye when she left ten minutes later. I didn't even see her, just heard the door shut loudly. I sighed and ran a trembling hand through my hair, hoping a long and hot shower would get me out of my trance. However, when I met my reflection in the mirror and saw that the door had left a red mark in the middle of my forehead, I almost went back to bed. I could already feel the headache that I was going to have to suffer with all day.

    I took a deep breath and went into the shower. There was nothing I could do about it, anyway.

    I let my hair down and wore my glasses to try and get people to pay attention to something other than the mark. I felt ridiculous and stupid. Also, it started stinging. Out of habit, I checked my pockets before leaving for work. On my way there, I smoke three cigarettes. For an unknown reason, I just couldn't stop. I hated to admit it, but it wasn't the first time an incident like that happened, I had gone through similar arguments and never felt really bad of what possibly came out of it.

"You're really starting to be the always-late kind of lad," Gary laughed but his face straightened e few seconds after saying that. "Sorry, what happened to you?"

"I didn't see my bedroom door this morning. It hurts like hell but I'll be fine, don't worry." I put a small smile on my lips, trying not to mentally blame myself for thinking that hair and glasses could hide something in the middle of my forehead.

    I had tried to remain serious all morning because people kept staring at me, and not in a good way. However, it became quite bothering when every single one of the customers noticed it. Therefore lunch break was more than welcomed.

    Sitting at the same table, I only asked Kathy for a coffee. It might have sounded silly, but I didn't feel like eating, I just wanted to try and take my mind off of life. Therefore I took my book out of the pocket of my jacket and started reading.