I walked over to the medical tent, looking for Corporal Robert. He was on the bed laying prone, shirtless, revealing a massive ugly looking bruise that was starting to form. A medic hovering over him, tutting.
"Ouch that looks like it hurts" I said to no one in particular. "How are you doing Corporal?" I asked.
"Hurts like hell, I am going to kill that little bastard the next time I see him." he said grimacing in pain
"Well you won't have to wait long; he should be coming to the tent any time now. The bastard challenged me to a duel, so I broke his nose. And you aren't going to be hurting anybody for the next 5 weeks at least, if I miss my guess" I said
"Good eye" the medic stated. "I was going to reduce the swelling and let out some of the blood maybe even perform a venesection to accelerate his wellness"
"Why? All he has is a couple of bruised or cracked ribs. It will heal faster if we don't do anything. All bloodletting is going to do is make you wrap the letting site which may cause pneumonia"
"I follow the teachings of Hippocrates and Galen, I will not be talked down to by a recruit with folksy wisdom" he said snootily.
"I also know of the teaching of Hippocrates of Kos and Galen of Pergamon, but bloodletting would require taping his ribs. This would mean he wouldn't be able to breathe as deeply, thus unable to expel the stale air. So the foul air may settle at the bottom of his lungs and that foul air could cause pneumonia" I explained calmly "and as to why I interfere in your course of treatment: In quascunque autem aedes introiero, eas adaegrotantium opem ingrediar. Into whatsoever houses I enter, I will enter to help the sick." I replied reciting a passage from the Hippocratic Oath, I had done a paper on the history of modern medicine for my pharmacology class.
He looked at me, sighed "I apologise, I didn't expect to find someone as educated as you in the countryside, especially amongst the recruits. But I still recommend a full course of weekly venesections to accelerate his healing."
"Go ahead, but I really don't see how reducing the amount of blood he has will help heal his bones any faster."
I turned to Corporal Robert. "This is what you need to do for the next 4-5 weeks:
First and foremost rest and take time off work if you need to
Breathe normally and cough when you need to – this helps clear mucus from your lungs to prevent chest infections
If you need to cough, hold a pillow against your chest provides support and allows you to clear your lungs more.
After a couple of days start walking around and sometimes move your shoulders to help you breathe and clear mucus from your lungs
Take 10 slow, deep breaths every hour to help clear your lungs
Try to sleep more upright for the first few nights" I said, reciting the NHS's recommendations on the treatment of bruised or broken ribs, it was on a poster in one of the corridors I passed multiple times daily for 3 years.
I also ground up some willow bark and snuck in some of my stolen paracetamol to make pain relieving tea to help with the pain.
"Get some rest, it will help you get better faster" I said gently patting him on the shoulder.
About this time two of the instructors came in dragging a beaten pulp behind them. They were literally dragging him by the ankles, so they obviously didn't like the guy. The guy they were dragging looked out of it: He had a broken nose. His eyes were bruised black. He had odd lumps in his jaws, which looked to me like he had recently lost a few teeth. His jaw looked dislocated. And he had 3 lumps forming on his forehead. He looked familiar, but in that state I doubted if even his mother could recognise the poor bastard.
YOU ARE READING
Accidental Merlin
Fantasythis is story of how I became legend. how I became Merlin. also the origins of the word queen in the cross-dressing sense, but ignore that bit, i never actually wore women's clothes P.S. First story, be kind.
