Done With This Shit

Done With This Shit Called Pretense

Being back in Busan just resets me. Of course, I come home once in a while, but I can't remember the last time I spent more than three days here. It's also been a while since I spent New Year's with my family. I miss those rare days I don't have to smile when I don't feel like smiling, act like a brat when I'm feeling cheeky and just be the daughter and sister that I am.

YG peeps were egging me to watch the last day of BigBang's concert. This will be their very last as a group, until Jiyong and Youngbae come back from their enlistment that is. Nobody really knows if Dae and Seungri gets to enlist with them, but we're estimating three years before they can all stand again in one stage - including Tabi. It will indeed be a long wait.

The thing is...this time, I chose my family over them. I hate to admit it but I felt like I have been neglecting my family ever since I became busy that I haven't spent much holidays with them the past years. It was always with friends and acquaintances in the industry and it made me feel guilty to be honest. Oh, don't get me wrong. My family is very understanding, and they're actually used to it. Even back then in the Philippines, my holidays were spent doing shows. One of the cons of being a celebrity is almost always putting your fans first. Which sucks, but we can't let our fans down, can we?

This past year woke me up to a lot of things. I really didn't care before since I was consumed of what direction I should take after my group disbanded. This year made me grow more, and because of that, I realized a lot of things. I realized what really matters more than money and that fame that comes along with it - happiness.

And what do you ask would really make me happy at this time? It was spending some quality time with my family. So I did. I spent time with my family instead of attending the last show for BigBang's show. Totally worth it.

Park Jinyoung oppa heard I will be in town so he sent me an invite for his new year concert, which coincidentally will also be held in Busan. He invited my whole family actually. My mom was giddy since she's a JYP fan girl. I just chuckled in amusement when I saw her eyes sparkle in delight when I told her we'll be attending his concert as a surprise. I guess when you're a real fan, no matter what age, you'll always be a fan.

I know some fans may call me out for choosing to attend JYP's concert instead of going to BigBang's, especially since they call me 'the number one VIP' and this will be their last, but in my defense, I attended their concert on the 30th instead since I have planned to go home to Busan the next day. Didn't you guys see the wreath I gave them?! I even left a very nice message, you know. Psh. Haters. What do you know about me anyway?

Long story short, New Year's with my family was perfect. My mom was happy. I got to bond with Sanghyun and met Durami's boyfriend. I still have a week left before I need to go back to Seoul and I plan to spend it at home and feel like a normal person for a few days, for a change.

We all slept late because we had fun catching up. I think it was around 5am that we all decided to hit the sack. We still have ample enough time to catch up anyway since I've decided to be a couch potato the next few days. It hasn't been two hours since I fell asleep when my phone ringing woke me up.

Now, if you know me, you would know I hate my sleep being interrupted because my body clock is screwed and it doesn't allow me to sleep whenever I need to, which means every wink of sleep is precious to me.

I tried to ignore the irritating sound, but whoever that person is seems to be really persistent in reaching me. I reached for my phone when I couldn't take it any longer. My forehead scrunched in confusion when I saw who was calling.

Jjangmae Jjang! is calling...

Must be some sort of emergency. I was about to answer when the ringing died. 7 missed calls. I suddenly felt guilty.