Heart & Gun - On Hold

Chapter 4

Treasure

It's been two days since Jahir last been over and he hasn't hit me up and when I text him or call him he completely ignores me, I don't know what's going on but I don't like it and now I'm worried about him. Now, that I know what he does for a living I be scared shitless of something happening to him. I know he isn't my man but in someway I feel like he's mine. I know it's crazy but it's a feeling that I don't want to go away.

"Sweetie, what's going on? I noticed you've been a little out of it lately." My mom Key said walking into the room. My mom and I were really close when I was younger, but as I got older, she got busier and the bond we had is suffering but she's surely trying to change that and I appreciate it.

"Ma I don't know! I find myself worrying about Jahir and we haven't even been knowing eachother for that long. I've never felt like this about boy, shit I never even spared glances at any of them at least so what is it that makes this boy any different in the others?" I shook my head putting my head in my hands. My whole life I have never worried about boys, yes I was a hopeless romantic and wanted that companionship, just not at an early age, just not right now.

"Maybe he's different from all the other guys that you have been around Tre. Maybe he's your breath of fresh air and nothing is wrong with that honey. Your dad is still my fresh air." I smiled small, her and my dads relationship was great, there was just one thing that was weird to me.

"I get that and all, and you say that about dad but you guys still aren't married?" Shit, I feel as if there are two grown people who are in love with eachother that they should just make it simple and be married. You already know you're going to be together for the rest of your lives.

"Yeah, but your dad and I are different. We feel as if we don't need a piece of paper saying that we are married, or a big ass celebration. In my mind and heart he is my husband and I am his wife. We share that bond, the love, the trust, and the understanding in eachother. Why do we need a piece of paper telling us that we're married to eachother?" I nodded my head in understanding their point of view.

"But anyways sweets, just go with the flow and follow your gut because it's never wrong. You are a beautiful, smart, fun, and sweet girl you will figure it out." I hugged my mom and then my phone started ringing. I looked at the caller ID and it was Jahir. A mug was plastered on my face, but on the inside I was smiling like a fucking goofy.

"What?" I answered the phone with attitude. I heard him chuckle.

"Quit with the attitude, what you been up to?" I rolled my eyes, but I was smiling but this nigga still had be fucked up.

"Nah I'm not going to quit, it's been two days since you talked to me and  you think I shouldn't have an attitude? Fuck out of here." I sat there on the bed holding the phone to my ear. My leg started to shake because he was laughing loudly over the phone and it was about to piss me off.

"Aint shit funny Jah. I'm about to hang up on your ass." He laughed a little more before calming down.

"Aye chill with all that. If you missed a nigga all you had to do was say so." I grinned over the phone because I did miss him. I just don't know how to express that. I've never liked a boy like this before, it's making me feel weird but I like it.

"Whatever. For real though where have you been? I've been scared for you." He sighed over the phone and I took it away from my ear to look at it cause I'm wondering who he's  huffing and puffing at.

"I wish you had never found out what I did cause now you're going to start this worrying and checking up on me shit. I don't have time for that."

"Okay, then you don't have time for me." I hung up the phone throwing it on the chair across my room. It started to ring but I ignored it knowing that it was only Jahir. I got up to go to the bathroom that was connected to my room and started looking through my medicine cabinet for my anxiety pills cause I could feel a attack coming on. I hated having anxiety because sometimes I get attacks out of no where. I could be sitting down reading a book then out of no where here comes my anxiety. I know it's all in your head, but that's just something that I have a hard time understanding. I heard my phone ring a couple more times but ignored it. I didn't have time for Jahir right now.  I started looking at all the bottles until I seen Chlordiazepoxide or Librium for short. I took one out popping it in my mouth before taking a paper cup from off the sink, filling it with water. I drank the water before throwing the cup in the trash. I walked out my bathroom and jumped seeing Jahir sitting on my bed.

"What are you doing here? Get out." He looked at me while raising his eyebrows.

"Ya moms let me in and cause you got me fucked up thinking you just gonna diss me and hang up in my face like that." He got up off the bed and started walking towards me. I just stood there watching him look so fine with every step he took. I can't stop looking at his lips. I just want kiss them all day. I felt his hands on my shoulders and jumped up snapping out of my day dreaming.

"Huh?" I dumbly said while slowly looked him up and down.

"I said you can't diss me girl. One, we got this project to work on. Plus, I know you feeling a nigga. Aint no dissing me babygirl, you hear me?" I bit my lip while nodding my head. I heard him loud and clear.

A/N: Hey Dolls, I'm sorry I been away for a long minute. But, I'm back and in the groove again. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. I do need a cover for this book though if anybody wants to make me one.

I also want to do a advice book. So basically, if anyone of you need advice on relationships, friendships, etc. then you can inbox me and I will give you the advice in the book. I will not say who the question is from or anything like that but I know it's hard to find someone to talk to and to get honest advice from. So, if anyone thinks this is a good idea. Comment yes or just start sending me questions for advice.

 Much love,

xoxo - Arie