Laceless Creation.

Encoded from nothingness.

**Sabine, a 15 year old high schooler, grew up in North Shore, Virginia. She had been in relationships before but she had never found love. Not until Will came into her life. They played basketball together and she was mesmerized by the way he laughs. Though, she always believed Will was never her type. But, when she got into a relationship with Will, she was so damn surprised by the reality. Albeit, she was too caught up in desperation that she stuck up to pretending, without even realizing it. She became so self-conscious and obviously, their relationship didn't work out. She and Will broke up after a short term relationship. Because Will fell in love with Sabine, and not the person Sabine became afterwards. Sabine just couldn't handle it, there was something in her mind she was afraid of. A month after their break up, Sabine recovered and went to basketball class again. In the past month, she had assessed her mistakes and was determined not to repeat them. But, when they broke up, she said so many things to him she herself wasn't aware of. Bitter things. Actually, it wasn't her. They broke up over text, and Sabine's best friend, Lewis called her that time and told her to write whatever he says, cause her mind was completely going blank. So she did what he said. Even though those things were a bit out of context from the conversation but she no longer possessed the strength to fight. She wanted to hurt him like no one before because he was ignoring her a lot. Caught up in that wrath, she wanted to break up with him.**

---Author's Note: The story starts a month after their breakup, when Sabine finally returns to basketball, after recovering.---

"As the tide stroke at her back, she was enlightened with realization that life then and life now has tremendous difference in its repercussions."

It was never quite an evening when I genuinely resisted going to basketball. The sight of him would make me sick, I know. Why? Well, there are many reasons and I don't wanna bore you with my not-so-happy-ending kinda story. But, I'd be giving you crumbs of it so you don't rather feel utterly clueless.

After a gap of 1 month, 5 days, I return to basketball, summoning all my strength to not fall apart. I've been continuously going to basketball class for 2 years. There are two kinds of people who come to basketball. One, who join for 2-3 months, maximum 5-8 months and then leave. The other who continue for 1 month, leave, then start again after 3 or 4 months, with subsequent gaps. I was never one of them. I continuously went to basketball for years, without any gaps. Basketball always felt like a second home. The place, the friends you make (no matter their temporariness because most of them leave), the thing is you explore your vulnerability to adjust to new circumstances. I still cannot believe I'd gone 1 month without basketball in my life.

When I arrived, I was relieved by his absence, and yet, a very tiny part of me still longed for him over there. Had he been here, I would've been wishing him to leave. And now that he's finally not here, I feel disappointed. *Weird me.* Don't worry, I'm weirder than that.

As I run along the side line, I try to rejoice his absence. Only a few minutes had passed as I completed my laps and witnessed his arrival. Late, but arrived. For the first time on his arrival, I didn't hope anything. Of what I elicited, he has lost some weight and his hair have grown back up.He had chopped his hair bald a few months ago. He looks as handsome as he did on the day I first met him. I didn't look at him, though. I avoided him cause I knew he's just gonna ignore me or reply coldly or whatever.

He runs past me and I don't look at him, fearing he'll not look back at me or give me a cold look of ignorance. It's better not to look, I perceive. Anyway, I'm here to learn, and not to fuss about the people who come here. He's playing on the other side of the court and I'm on the opposite side. Sir offered me to play with him but I refused.

When I used to play here earlier, I was always kinda disturbed by his presence in my own way. It tends to divert me from focusing on my game. But, today feels whole lot of different. Albeit I still don't play as well as I used to but I'm into my game now.

At the end, our teams were merged so we could play full court. At that point, Sir sent me to his team and I was kinda devastated at first for reasons apparent. We started playing and I was enjoying everyone's company. We were all cracking jokes, laughing. All of us(including him) were in a cheerful and playful mood. In between, we talked like "pass the ball!" or "shoot!" and stuff like that but nothing serious because I presumed that he's still upset. What I did in the past was a catastrophe. But my friends say I didn't do anything wrong, considering what he did to me. I kind of believe them, kind of don't.

Back to the game, when he was about to shoot and I was free, I heard myself say "Will, pass!" I realized I uttered his name after a long time. I don't quite remember if the basket converted or not but I do remember that he turned back and said "sorry" about not passing me the ball which is okay. We all do that at times but I still am perplexed on the need of saying "sorry" because technically it isn't your fault.

While we're playing, I was trying my best to avoid him which wasn't inevitable because we were in the same team. There came a moment when we both looked at each other and he whispered "hello" and smiled which soon turned to a beautiful laugh. This left me utterly shocked and surprised because I thought he would be upset and angry with me. Instead, he himself took the initiative and talked to me. I whispered back a "hello" and even I started to laugh. I've always admired the way his lips take the shape of a circle and join. That's how I know he's saying "hello".

This whole thing left me so relieved for the rest of the class. Happy, in fact. Speaking of which, I wanted to tell him that I missed him or that I'm sorry. But, I didn't say any of that. And, I felt so proud of myself when I didn't. In my last relationship, I lost it because of desperation. Desperation is not the key, I realize. Patience might be. And not just desperation, there were many other reasons why it didn't work out as I said earlier. Look, I'm providing you with teeny bits of information. Hah.

I was glad to meet some of my friends again but most of them had left in the past month which left me very disappointed.

I returned home. I was bursting with happiness. I observed I wasn't as happy as I thought I was all this time. I get this because I now am.

Last night, I saw his story on Instagram. Someone's asked him whether he's serious about Megan or not. This obviously means that he's dating her. Plus, Megan has the same Sarahah username as Will just with a '2'.

Though, I kind of doubt the fact that he's considered dating again.

I check my Instagram today, and I'm glad to find out that Megan has removed her Sarahah username from her bio.

But, as I scroll ahead to his story, I see that he has a serious crush on Megan. But, before 'we' were together, he fell in love with 'me', the real me. Once we started dating, there wasn't any 'me' and probably that's why he lost interest. I was so damn caught in pretending. That's the case with me, yeah. But, now I'm completely fine and happy. I'm 'me' again!