Im nothing important (boy × boy)

back to confusion

   My eyes flung open and they automatically closed back down in pain. "Oww.. " I said quietly as I carefully grab my head wincing again once my hand grazed against my head. I got up and looked down on what I had fell on. It was my...wait this wasn't mine... FUCK! I shot up and grabbed the item my head fell upon, stuffed it in my backpack, and got dressed for another horrid day at school. On my way down the stairs me mother stopped me.

"No good-bye kiss? " I smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Bye mom. "
"By hun I super love you! "

"I super love you too! " I say as I say back or trade marked saying. "Bye! "
I heard a small voice say.  I could tell that was my smaller brother. I ran quickly to my stop. But fell half-way there. I forgot about the cuts.

I slowly got up and limped the rest of the way. I stood at the stop and waited... Alone. Like always. The bus came to stop in front of me. Without knowing my body led me to my designated seat. Right next to...nobody. Again. I mean it isn't all bad. I get to sit away from the kids in the back who play horrible music. I slipped my earbuds in and started playing Paramore that's what you get. It was an old song but I didn't care. I like any song that's depressing and fits my liking. Well not all the time. Sometimes they have to be energetic or catchy. But mainly depressing don't get me wrong. "FUCK ME LIKE AN APRICOT! " one of the "kids" screamed out the window. How do they even survive with such small brain cells. But that's non of my business. The bus came to another stop picking up two more kids. Now it's school. I then realized that I was half-way through the song Chandelier by sia. When did that song sneak it's way in my playlist? I shrugged and looked out the seemingly never-ending road. Full of trees on the side and a few cornfields. Before I knew it we were almost there. I grabbed my stuff, careful not to break the special item. I stand up and walk with the crowd and into the gym. "HEY (Y/N)!!!!" My small friend yells. "Oh hey Ryan. " I sit down and he sits with. Ryan was a little short to me, only cause i was super tall. He had brown hair and the most beautiful green eyes. He wasn't well built or thick. He was normal sized and fully happy about it. When he was happy I was happy.

"Oh Ryan here! " I pull out the item he gave me a week ago. It was a... Toy? I don't know. But it was cool. It was a heart something. It didn't do anything it just looked super cute and cool. It was made of glass. Really hard glass too. "Oh that thing. You can keep it." He said I said I can keep it!?  WHAT!?  oh I am so going to cherish this forever. "Thank you thank you thank you! " I went in for a hug but he backed up. Oh. Nevermind then. Ryan and me were friends for a long time. Mainly because we were both gay.

   People have shipped us and I want those ships to be true. But he declined them. It hurts but I don't want him to know that. I want him to be happy. Even if he will never love me back. Ok THAT was depressing. No being depressed around smol friend Ryan. The bell rang and everyone in the got got up. You and Ryan walked out to your first hour. You two parted ways. "Bye Ryan! " he responded with a wave good-bye. My heart skipped a beat and I about fell. WHY THE FUCK DID MY HEART SKIP A BEAT THAT IS U N N A T U R A L.

Time skip to home cause you don't get to see Ryan.

I decided to walk home today. Mainly because it fucking hurts my legs. I need to be punished for being a stupid, useless piece of shit. I pimped the whole way. About ten people walked by. Only one asked what's wrong. It was an old man I helped across the street. I said I was fine and to have a nice day. I plugged in my earbuds and put on Pandora. Love club was on. Nice. It was almost over when I got home. Ah. Home. Where I can cry in peace.

I skipped two steps and then two again. My daily thing. I walked in and noticed that no one was home.

I guess it's time to...

A loud knock came at the door.

Who is it? Who knows.
^(oo)^