The Dragonborn Comes

5. Sandstorm

Jorah Mormont

There is a thin line between love and insanity, they said.

Then how is it that had I had lost everything I cared about?

I had been restless, aimlessly wandering the lands beyond the narrow sea after losing my title as a Lord for being a slave trader. I had been lost, without a cause or reason to live, staying alive in the hopes of finding something worth living for. Something to believe in.

And then Daenerys came along.

With her beauty and her grace she came into my life and changed everything in the blink of an eye. The moment I saw her, I knew that I had found my reason, my purpose. In the timid young girl, I found my will and strength and desire to protect her.

When I heard about Vyseris's plan to marry her off to that brute of a Khal, I could have killed him for it. There wasn't anything I could do about it though. Nothing at all. And all I could think about was her. She dominated my every thought and haunted my dreams. And still there was no way I could protect her, not from her own flesh and blood. Her brother.

When the wedding occured, and Vyseris got the army he so desperately wanted, I decided that the only way to keep her safe was for me to become her protector. To become her guardian and earn her trust. Something I yearned for not only in the name of duty, but also in the name of love. So I stayed with her. I remained with the Khalasar and tried to keep her safe as best as I could.

I watched her grow from a shy and timid girl into a fierce and passionate woman. She was kind and gentle, and even though she had the blood of the Targaryen coursing through her veins, I could not detect in her the madness I so clearly saw in Vyseris.

When the attempts on her life happened, and sshortly after I was approached by the Kings men, I made a choice. A choice to become an informant to the people in Kings Landing, and therefore keep Daenerys safe.

If the people concerned about her in Kings Landing got legitimate and accurate information, the need to finish her off would considerably lessen, and I would be able to keep her safe.

It felt so wrong, but it was the only way I could think of to truly keep Daenerys safe. To protect her from those who wished her harm. Even from myself.

When Vyseris, the supposed "last of the dragons", met his end after insulting Khal Drogo, I couldn't help but feel relieved. I had never liked the man, and he had been insane. When after that the Khal also perished, I could see how it had affected Daenerys. When I learned of her pregnancy, I tried vehemently to hide my true feelings. When the miscarriage happened, and shortly after Khaleesi was forced to end the life of her husband, I truly thought the worst had passed.

And then she tried to take her own life. She was willing to die with her husband. That knowledged, knowing that she loved him enough to actually want to die with him, was shocking. As I tried to stop her, I watched her walk into the fire, making my world crash and burn with it.

When she survived, when she returned to me as Mother of Dragons, it was as if everything I had believed in bacame nothing in comparison to her.

I stayed on as an informant to Kings Landing, though. I knew deep within my heart that I shouldn't, but the logical part of my mind knew that even though she was different now, that something had shifted in the balance of power in Westeros, she was still vulnerable. She was still barely more than a girl. Dangers lurked in every shadow. There was no way I could keep her safe on my own, and being an informant granted me an amout of certainty when it came to information.

After taking Pentos and Yunkai, and later Mereen, I knew it was time to stop. I saw Daenerys transform in front of me into a true Queen, a ruler. She claimed her birthright, her blood legacy, and did it with such confidence and passion that I couldn't stand the lies anymore. I couldn't betray her like that. Even if I did what I did to try and keep her safe, there came a point in which I just had to believe in her power, in her legacy, and trust it would be enough to keep her alive.