18 and a mother

Part 3 Telling family

Its been a 3 month's now since I first saw Jake and about a week since I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know how to tell my family I was, and I called my college and asked if they offer help and they said they did. I was happy and Jake was making sure I was careful around things, he was....being a little too over protective, more than usual. I was only a few weeks pregnant and he was acting like I was in my last month.  "You shouldn't be moving too much babe!" He would say and I would only move my hand to turn the page in a book. I finally had enough and I got up to get some food when he told me to sit, pointing his finger at me like I was a dog. That was my last straw and he knew it when he saw my face. 

"Oh shit...Babe, I didn't mean it like that-" I stood up and walked away from him and into his room and locked the door. He knew it was best to leave me alone and I messaged Garrett and told him to come and get me, and take me to the airport. He said yes and he would be here in a few minutes. I heard Jake knocking on the door and I unlocked it and went back to packing. "Amanda I'm sorry for what I -" He stopped midway and looked around. "Where are you-" I zipped up my bag and looked at him. "I'm going home and then-" He cuts me off my pulling me into a hug. "Please don't go...I'll miss you too much." He says and I feel his tears fall down on my bare shoulder. "Jake...please don't...don't make this harder than it has to be," I say and hug him back. "I have to go, my college friend called me and I have to leave." He pulls away and looks at me with red puffy eyes. "Please...Amanda, don't leave me alone." 

"Jake I don't want to but...I have to do this, I have to follow my dreams, I need to go to college and get a degree so if I don't get to be an actor I won't have to struggle finding a job." "So you won't be like your mom or me." I look at him and place my hand on his cheek. "So when I have our kid, we can give them the best life. So they won't have to worry about when their next meal is gonna be, so they have warm clothes and good shoes, so that they have a decent house without a leaky roof. That's why Jake, we both had a hard life growing up as kids. I don't want our child to grow up and be an adult at 6 like I had to." I say in a sorrow voice. "I want our kid to know what it's like to play outside with a family, not take of their younger sibling. To have good memories and know that's it's okay to be scared of the dark or monsters under their bed, not be scared of losing their home cause we don't have money."

I start to cry and Jakob holds me and rubs my back. "I just want our child to have a great childhood, not one full of fear of being taken or raped by family. One full of happy times, full of fun, laughter, candy, unicorns or dragons. I just want to be a good mother, and I want their daddy to stay with us and not leave because he's an alcoholic or sleeps with other women." Jakob holds me as he knows I'm remembering everything that happened in my childhood, what once was and what I wish could've been.

I look at the ground and feel tears fall down my face, I wipe them away and grab my bag slinging it over my shoulder. "I can't...I can't disappoint my mom Jake, I can't let down my family and not go to college. I worked so hard to get in it, I need to do go." I say in a sad tone. I have worked all 4 years of high school to get into drama and then my senior year I finally made it into a class and into the school's "One Acts"...But now, staying with Jakob....finding out I'm pregnant....can I really leave him?  Can I leave this life that I've had for a such a short time and yet, it feels like I've been here forever. If I go then the chance of me coming back is small, if I stay...I'll never follow my dreams. I feel so torn.