Cold Sweetness

❆ chapter one

The bus was nothing more than a blur in her vision. It stood at the end of the curb of the parking lot at the west side of the campus, waiting for the rest of the students who had signed up for the trip to board. While several had already seated themselves, the lone chaperone waited by the entrance for the remaining few who had overslept and were running late.

Nevada Ruiz wavered several feet away, a lump lodged in her throat. A sharp breeze rustled her dark hair across her face, the harsh air biting at her exposed skin. Her mother had warned her numerous times to wear gloves, but for some unknown reason, she never did. It could be that it was a pain to use her phone when the touch screen didn't pick up on her taps through the material; it was more likely that Nevada was too stubborn to admit that her mother had a point.

Her chest felt tight. The sensation hadn't disappeared for the past couple of weeks. Between the stress of finals and the anticipation for the trip, her body hadn't given her a break. It refused to let her forget about her impulsive decision. When she had first received the notification for the school-sponsored trip to the ski lodge a state away, her initial intent had been to disregard it. After all, one usually planned a trip with friends, and there was a severe lack of those in Nevada's life.

But all it had taken to change her mind was a terrible evening spent scrolling through social media. Her feed was cluttered with her former high school classmates posting collages celebrating the end of their semesters with their new friends, and her heart ached at the sight.

Even after four months at Briarcliff University, Nevada had struggled to introduce herself or manage more than four words during her classes. The only two people who knew her by name was her roommate – who she had never hung with outside their dorm room – and the dining hall employee who signed her in every morning. While everyone had described college as an unforgettable experience, the most Nevada had gotten out of it was ordering a pizza for herself at midnight during a late night studying session.

She couldn't help it. She had tried multiple times to take the first step. She had rehearsed her introductions to people – had prepared questions to ask, but her courage disappeared whenever the moment presented itself. If a teacher's stare lingered on her for too long, Nevada averted her gaze. If there were people in the dorm halls, she kept her head down until she made it inside her room. If anyone did attempt to engage in conversation with her, they lost interest when it became clear that her replies were blunt and one-worded.

As the days passed, she watched her chance to fall into a group vanish. People stuck together as the weeks went on, cementing their circle of friends into an impenetrable circle. Nevada had expected it, but it still hurt when she saw groups of people huddled in the dining hall together while she ate alone.

Her older sister, Natalie, had assured her that it would get better. But Nevada had stopped believing her. Natalie was a social butterfly who had people gravitating towards her at every turn; as a talented athlete and Honor Roll student, there was no reason not to love her. She was the golden child, the one who never failed. Nevada was lackluster in comparison.

Nevada kicked at the concrete to avoid making eye contact with Ms. Simmons. The chaperone for the trip continued scanning the parking lot for the late student, and as if on cue, two young men rushed in her direction, hauling hefty duffels over their shoulders.

Part of her wished she was like them. She wished that the reason she had yet to sign in and hop aboard the bus was that she had overslept. The truth was that she had spent the better part of the morning pacing her dorm room, her mind working itself into a frenzy as she debated whether or not to miss it. Natalie was a phone call away, and she knew that she would be there to pick her up as soon as she could if Nevada said the words.