Okay, so I'm no professional, in fact, I'm just a beginner when it comes to this faith stuff. I don't know all the facts, or many, if any. All I have to offer for proof of why I believe what I believe, is my own testimony. I feel as if I should share this if even this reaches one person. So here it goes...
I grew up in a large Christian family. We would go to church on Sunday and we would pray together every night. I didn't do these things because I wanted to. I did them because it was something that had been passed down to me from my parents. My faith was a routine.
There comes a point in everyone's life where they decide to make a decision. Either they choose to continue practising their faith or they decide to forget it, altogether.
I chose to claim ownership of it when I was a Sophomore in High School. Around that time I was in a dark place and I didn't know how to get out. Me, being myself, I was stubborn and adment on overcoming it by myself in my independence. As a result, I shut others out, and as a result of that, I ended up feeling very lonely. That summer I went away to a mission camp, and there at the camp, they would close each night with an hour of Adoration before the Blessed Sacrement that we recieve on Sundays. While i was kneeling there in the chapel, I heard Jesus speak to me, and I mean, I had been to Adoration countless times before and it was always the same thing... quiet. But, the thing is, when Jesus talks, he doesn't talk to you with a voice that you can hear with your ears or even, a voice that you hear in your head, but he talks to you by the words he puts on your heart.
When he spoke to me, this is what he said:
"Everything that you are going through, I want you to lay it down and give it to me. You don't need to worry anymore. All I want you to do is trust me. I've got this."
At first I hesitated, but once I gave it to him, I felt this profound sense of peace come over me. I just remember sobbing out if pure joy.
A couple weeks later, I felt as if I was getting farther away from God, and I didn't know why. I ended up going to Confession and asking the preist why I was feeling this way. He told me that it was perhaps, because I needed to pray.
...You see, when you're friends with someone, and you want that relationship to grow and flourish, you have to talk to them if you expect to get anywhere.
So,... I started a prayer life. 5 min. each day! I know it wasn't much, but it's a start. The big "Jesus high" that I felt that special night eventually wore off, but that was bound to happen, because it was a feeling. Feelings come and go, but love is a choice. And so, whether or not I feel like loving God, today, I choose it.
And so, I challenge you to do the same,... to choose to love him, and give him the things that you are strugging with. All he wants you to do, is trust him.
