Words Left Unspoken

Urges

Urges

The urge is back. I want it. I need it. The sweet relief of the blade, my trusty and loyal friend.
For so long I denied the urges for it. I accepted the fact that I couldn't haveit and make those around me happy. I took the blades and put them in a box andlocked them away.
Thinking that the phrase "out of sight out of mind" could possibly work.
Some days it did and some days it didn't. It seemed to always be there in theback of my mind waiting for my weakest moment to come and take over.
Well that moment has come and it's now my decision to make.
I can finally give in and feel my sweet release or please everyone around me and suffer.
I am so done caring what about what other people think!
I grab the box from its hiding place and throw it against the wall and watch it shatter.
I hear the soft clinks as the blades hit the floor. Just hearing the sound is enough to make me feel a bit better, but today I need more than that. Today I need my full release.