Vents

5 : 1 0 AM 1 / 6 / 1 8 ((Autumn))

"I love you."
I want to say those three words very badly, the way I mean it isn't just as a friend, Autumn. You know that I want more than that. No, not a fucking sex buddy, I want a fucking relationship. And I'm sorry for being sad all the time and you desperately trying to make me happy, you don't need to do that. I know you want to but it isn't that big of a deal, really. No one, and I mean NO ONE has cared as much as you do about me, Autumn. And I care about you just as much, I swear. I want you to be happy, when you're happy, I'm happy. I don't want to ruin our friendship because of our emotions towards each other, but, I-I, I love you too damn much to contain my emotions and it's killing me not saying all of this to you. And I'm sorry for taking things too fast that night, and yes I'm still going to blame myself for what happened...
I'm, just- just, so fucking sorry for doing all of this to you.

~J e n n i f e r