Haajar:
A new day, a new start. Except the start isn't new, my day's always started the same. The endless bickering of my parents about my sisters marriage, the screams from my brothers and sister complaining about the noise. I sat in my room at my desk staring outside my window listening to the arguments. I always wondered, if my family would ever stop. And if they just all connected again just like before.
"Haajar." The voice disrupted my thoughts. I spun my face around facing my little brother, who was peeking from behind the door. I raised an eyebrow gesturing him to come in and close the door
"What's wrong?" I asked patting my bed for him to sit down. He had his books held tightly in this arms against his chest, he looked up at me the sunlight directly hitting his pupils.
"Can I study here? The arguments are too loud in my room, making it hard to concentrate on what I'm revising." Ibrahim gave a small smile squinting a bit, I nodded getting up from my chair allowing him to sit. I close the curtain a bit blocking the sunlight from coming in, I took the books from his arms placing them neatly on the side of the desk then taking out some highlighters for him to use.
"Make sure to use these, they'll help with your revision." I smiled pulling him up from the bed and putting down on the chair.
"If you need anything..."
"I'll call you." He laughed turning the chair around to face the desk. I opened my bedroom door walking out and closing it again so no noises distract him. I walked down the hall, knocking on my older sisters door waiting for her to answer
"Haajar, finally. I need your help." She grabbed me by the arm pulling me into her room and sat me on her bed
"For the engagement. What colours?" She asked rummaging through her wardrobe
"Zaida don't you have to be matching with the groom?" I asked looking down at her floor.
"Yeah but what if his colour choice isn't nice. What do I do then?" She sighed sitting down next to me
"Call him and ask what colours he chose? Then you'll know if you have anything good to wear...if not go out and buy something." I stood up from my position walking over to her desk where she kept her books. Quran's and books about Islam. She's never read any of them makes me wonder why she's bought them. I looked around her room. This used to be our room, the memories we created with all our cousins. I miss them. I rubbed my eyes preventing myself from crying. I haven't seen my cousins in years, there's so many of them it's amazing. We stopped talking to them 5 years after Ibrahim was born. So we never got to know if any of them got married, if any of them had children. I walked out of my sisters bedroom, down to the stairs bumping into my other brother Ismaeel.
"They're at it again. Who knows what about now." He looked back at the living room then back at me, Ismaeel was barely here because of his job but he was always here when our parents fought.
"Probably about Zaida's wedding. It's a big thing." I walked down the corridor leading to the living room.
"As'Salaam Wa Alaikum." I greeted both my parents sitting down on the sofa.
"Wa'Alaikum Assalam." they greeted back in unison.
"Tell me Haajar," my father started turning his body around to face me
"Your mother, she wants our family to come to Zaida's wedding."
"Our family? As in our cousins?" I asked turning also to face him
"Yes, your cousins. It would be nice." My mother smiled leaning back on the sofa
"But they haven't invited us to any of their weddings." He raised his voice clearly annoyed
"But Baba, if we invited them then it shows that our family don't hold grudges against anyone." I said nervously facing my mother then back to my father.
"See, even Haajar understands." My mother smiled getting up to sit next to me. She put a hand on my cheek smiling wider. My father groaned finally agreeing to invite the rest of our family to Zaida's wedding.
I walked back up into my room to find Ibrahim asleep on-top of all his books. I sighed shaking him a little to wake him up
"Huh? What?" Ibrahim jumped up rubbing the side of his cheek
"Here, sleep in my bed for a bit."
He raised an eyebrow at me slowing getting under the duvet
"Wow Haajar, why's your bed to comfy oh my god." He moved around embracing the comfort. I scrunched up at my eyebrows at him shrugging my shoulders afterwards sitting down on the chair spinning it towards the desk. I pulled out some Law textbooks writing an essay for my university course.
"Haajar?" I turned my head around towards my door where my mother was standing
"Yeah Mama?" I asked turning the chair around to face her.
"Well...Okay. Haajar I know you don't want to and I'm not forcing you," She stopped taking a deep breath. We know where this is going.
"You at the age where everything changes for you." I started to laugh which made my mother a bit annoyed
"Haajar."
"Sorry." I chuckled nervously coughing afterwards. She sat down where Ibrahim was sleeping stroking his cheek
"Your Brother loves you a lot doesn't he?" She smiled looking at both of us. I nodded smiling aswell,
"What did you want to talk about Ma?" I asked looking back at her waiting for her to reply.
"Nothing, just wanted to say Jazakallah for agreeing with what I said downstairs."
"Yeah, it's good that we're getting our family to come to Zaida's wedding. It'll be nice to catch up," I regretted saying that. Because I know they won't talk like how they used to. I'm scared they'll just start arguing about stupid things like how much rice they've got on their plate. That's how my family is. My mother walked out of the room closing the door behind me leaving off a weird vibe. I sat there listening to small snores from Ibrahim and the excited chatter from Zaida in the next room. I'm happy that she's happy. We've all been miserable for too long, maybe the wedding will actually help? The engagement is tomorrow at 2 O'clock, I wonder whose going to show.
