The Journal

Copy Right & Dedication

Copyright © 2014 by Amber G. Gill

All rights are reserved.

This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for brief quotations in a book review.

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This book is dedicated to...

My best friend, Krishel Stout, for always being there and supporting me, and being my "Jordan". I love you.

Chapter 1

Sit down. Stand up. Be quiet. Be louder. You're fat. You're thin. You're short. You're tall. You're stupid. You're ugly. You're worthless. You're pathetic. You'll never be like us. Ever since Madison Jones had moved to Fort Meyers, Florida, her life was never the same.

She would start seventh grade in the fall the year they moved, and Madison was more nervous than ever. Now, a sophomore in high school, Madi had more problems than friends, and even more secrets.

Before she moved to Florida, Madison was an athletic, built, and talented young girl. She ran almost every morning before school and after school she would train in the school gym. She was energetic, smart, and loved talking and socializing with people. By the world's standards, she was a "normal child".

But when she moved, all of that changed. She hated her new life almost as much as she hated her dad for taking a new job. Her parents fought constantly and her dad left, taking Madison with him.

Not only was her family torn apart, but her entire life as well. The kids at her new school were destructive. She was abused emotionally and mentally, and that led her to abuse herself physically.

She made her first cut two weeks after she started school, and she never stopped. When cutting no longer seemed to satisfy her, she stopped eating. Her dad never noticed what went in her mouth, or rather, what didn't. It was hard to keep the scars on her wrists and arms hidden without people noticing, so she cut her stomach, upper thighs (where her shorts would cover them), and her shoulders.

She never went swimming and no one ever found out about her addiction. Madison hated her life, her body, her school, and her dad. She needed someone, and sometimes she even wished for someone to help her stop. But she knew that if a friend hadn't come by now, no one ever would.

Madison usually walked home from school because she had already had enough of the kids for one day and her dad worked until five, but he did drive her to school in the mornings. It wasn't a far walk, not even a mile from her house, and this was the only part of the day Madison enjoyed the most.

The house next door to them had been rented out for as long as Madison could remember, but the owners finally decided that it was time to put it up for sale. Two weeks after being on the market, the house sold.

As Madison walked up to her house, she saw a huge moving van parked in the driveway of the recently-bought house and workmen unloaded furniture and boxes. Madison kept walking but she noticed a boy sitting on the grass, reading a book. He had to be at least fifteen, why wasn't he helping?

She walked up her front porch steps, paying no attention to him, when as she opened the door she heard someone call.

She turned and saw the boy, smiling and waving at her to come to him.

"You're the first kid I've seen since we got here," the boy told her as they both approached the fence that separated their yards.

Madison shrugged her shoulders. "There's plenty of kids 'round here."