I'm gonna cry (what stuff)

I came up with this christmas story

"My love?" She whispers in my ear.

    "Yes, darling?" I look at her with half asleep eyes. She looked like an angel, her brown hair forming a dark halo around her face, her bright blue eyes like stars in the sky, her smile lighting up her whole face and dimming the rest of the room. I could only focus on her, for it was so hard to focus on anything else.

    "It's Christmas! The kids already woke me up, let's go open presents!" She jumped up out of bed, her energy bubbling over in excitement. I swept the covers off and followed her down the stairs. She kneeled beside the tree with our youngest on her lap, helping him open one of the brightly wrapped gifts from under it. He squealed with excitement as he opened up a glossy red firetruck. He ran off with the other  two children, waving the new toy around. I sat behind her and hugged her close to me, gently kissing the back of her neck.

    "Merry Christmas, my beautiful wife."

    I woke up, my cheeks stained with hot, thick tears. I gripped the sheets next to me, craving her small, warm body. I sobbed into the unfamiliar pillow, wanting to be rid of this everlasting pain.

    "Why can't you be here? Why can't you still be alive? Why did you have to leave me?" I ask the same three questions I've been asking since my beautiful angel left me. I pull the sheets off of the bed, hoping for some sort of closure. Nothing. Nothing will ever come from my desperate attempts to see her again. Just like there was nothing I could do when she slit her wrists and took all those pills. She took so many pills and her blood ran down her beautiful
white dress and there was nothing I could do but stand there and stare. I felt worthless as my beautiful wife lost herself, just as I am losing myself now.