Ihatemylife

The Story of my Life

Hi. My name is Sky. I am 15 years old. I am weak. I have pluviophile and atelphobia. Atelphobia is the fear of not being good enough. Pluviophile is someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.

I have anorexia and I have had bulimia... Bulimia is where you make yourself throw up food when you think you have eaten to much because you think you're fat. Anorexia is where you rarely eat and you lose a lot of weight to the point where it hurts... It really sucks.

I have cut myself for 7 years now. I started cutting because I was being bullied at school but I didn't want to talk about it and also because my mom and father divorced.

I not only cut with razors but with screws and I don't just cut either... But I burn and take lots of anti-depressants. I burn with cigarettes and whatever else I can get my hands on.

I have a page called thesuicidalnobodies.org (a/n this isn't a real website.) It is my page to vent. I don't know how it got out to the public but it somehow did... It got out to a teenage boy. His name was Drew.

Drew direct messaged me on my page and asked why I cut, burned, took depression pills, tried to commit suicide, and a lot of other things. He asked why I didn't have anyone to help me.

I told him this... "I cut because I am a worthless piece of shit. I get bullied I have been for almost 8 years now. My parents divorced when I was 8 so I also cut for that reason. I burn for the same reasons except my ex-boyfriend told me to kill myself so I started burning myself. I fell into deep major depression and had to start taking pills. I try to commit suicide every month or two... It never works. I don't know why though. I have had bulimia and have anorexia and no one can help me fix my problems. I have never been good enough and I never will be Drew!"

He asked if I had a Skype and I said yeah so he gave me his username. I Skyped him around 9:30 that night. When everyone was asleep but me.

He answered.

(This is how the conversation went.)

Sky: Hey Drew.

Drew: Sky?

Sky: Yah, it's... It's me.

Drew: Wow! How can people bully you?!

Sky: Well, because I have the worst life ever... You don't know.

Drew: Honey, let me say this. I can show you my scars all over my whole body from where I used to cut. That doesn't mean I have the worst life does it? No. Bullying doesn't mean you have the worst life. You are just in a bad place right now.

Sky: More like I'm in Hell right now...

Drew: Look, if you feel the need to cut, burn, take pills, or anything call me. I will talk you out of it or talk to you so you don't do it. Okay. Promise me you will?

Sky: I-I-I- ummm.... I promise..

Drew: Thank you beautiful.

Sky: Your welcome.. Well, I better head to bed. Oh and uh-Drew... Thank you for being here when no one else is it means a lot.

Drew: No problem sweet girl. Goodnight, sweet dreams. Skype me in the morning okay?

Sky: Okay. Will do!

And with that we hung up and I went to bed. I knew I had someone now. Not just someone, but a cute, funny, sweet, amazing someone. I covered up, turned out the lights, put the kittens and puppies on the floor, and went to sleep.

*Next morning at about 5:15 on Friday*

I woke up and was hungry so I decided to make myself some breakfast along with my step brother and his best friend. I remember that I had to Skype Drew and jumped on the computer.

It asked for the password so I typed in imperfectgirllivingintheworstworld and logged into Skype. I clicked on Drew's face and let it ring for a minute. He answer at 5:17.

(Conversation)

(Key= S=Sky D=Drew)

S- DREW!!!!

D- What?! What is it?!

S- I've missed you!!

D- Aww is that why you called so early?

S- Hehe well no but you are the only friend I have really...

D- Aww that's so cute. I can't believe that though.

S- Hehe well believe it. I have to make breakfast you want to come over and help me and meet me for the first time you know?

D- HELL YEAH! I mean um, let me go ask my dad.

S- Okay.

I could hear him talking to his dad. Drew asked his dad alright. He asked him if he could go to the most beautiful girls house and help her cook breakfast. His dad laughed and said sure and told him to get ready for school before he left. Drew ran in his room and shut and locked the door and walked to the bed and sat down.

S- Hehe so I'm the most beautiful girl?

D- Oh, umm, you heard that?

S- Hehe I heard all of it.

D- Well you are. I promise. I gotta change clothes real quick but DON'T hang up please!

S- I won't I promise.

He left the frame so I couldn't see him.. He came back into the frame but didn't notice he did I don't think. He had boxers on and that was it. I felt my cheeks heat up and knew I was blushing. He sat on the bed and put his pants on. He put his ankle socks on. He put his jays on but not a shirt. I wondered when he was going to put it on. He started to walk to the computer and leaned over it. I could see his perfect 8 pack on the screen. My eyes went big, I bit my lip, I closed my eyes, and moaned a little on accident. I think he heard me because he started the conversation back up...

D- What was that? Why are you biting your lip?

S- What was what? Oh, yeah, I kinda saw your 8 pack and... *blushes* ya know..

D- Sorry bout that Babygirl I didn't realize I came to the screen.

S- NO! I mean uh I mean don't apologize. It was perfect. I mean um when will you be here?

D- send me your address and I will be there shortly.

S- Ok, see you soon hun. Bye!

With that we hung up.