Nostalgia

The Bees

Another small town, another big school, another place where I don't fit it, surprise. I'm not sure there truly is a place for me to fit in but my family sure as hell is doing all they can to try and find it. I've moved 13 times in the 16 years of my life. I've lived in Indiana, Main, Massachusetts, Colorado, Ohio, Texas, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Washington D.C., Maryland, Arizona, Tennessee, and the newest addition to my list, currently California. Try making a sustainable friend in a little longer than a year; there isn't even time to get over the weird new girl phase. I guess in that way I kind of like it I'm always a mystery and mysteries are enticing. Although When people get to know me, on the rare occasion that we have enough time, they figure out I'm really not all that exciting. So I don't let people know me it's better that way.

Generally speaking, I don't even unpack my things anymore I've learned to live out of the same degrading cardboard boxes.

God, I sound like a freak.

Please Don't pity me I actually like moving around I've had 13 fresh starts a lot of people would kill for that opportunity. The first day is always the worst everyone pays so much attention when new people come in, people don't like change.

Today will be no different than my 13 other first days I realize as I sit in the back of my dads black Toyota Corolla my arms crossed over my stomach, a sense of familiarity, I can always count on my dads car being the same no matter what school I go to.

"please don't make me go" I whined. If I didn't act like I was dreading going to school my parents might think something is up. I cant have them on my ass all the time.

"Honey, I know it sucks I know going to a new school isn't exactly exciting but sadly the government requires we send you to school, and I don't have the authority to tell them otherwise. " he joked . I giggled politely, it was best to entertain him. Without another word, I wrapped my fingers around the car door stalling for a second before pushing it open. One step out the car door and it was evident that this was the cliquest school I had ever attended,

great that will make everything so much harder.

Five boys gathered in a circle all of them sporting matching green and white leatherman's jackets one of them gripped a football in between his hands. All of them were looking at one of the boys phones practically falling over each other to see whatever was on it. When they caught a glimpse of the screen they all laughed hysterically.

Suddenly the entire place froze, everyone seemed to stop what they were doing and look up as three girls practically glided up the front steps. These girls looked as though they had rehearsed their walk into school a million times. They were walking in almost a equiangular triangle, the girl in the front was perfect almost like a barbie. Her straight blonde hair cascaded off her shoulders ending at her waist. She wore a white tank top a leather jacket and extremely low cut jeans. I knew she was going to be my downfall I already hated her, I don't let myself hate it breeds attachment. The girls following behind her practically worshiping at her feet. The girl to the blondes left had chocolate brown hair perfectly wrapped in loose curls. She wore extremely short jean shorts and a pink crop top that ended just above the waist band. The other girl was also a brunette but her hair was stick straight and parted straight down the middle, she wore a green and white cheerleading uniform that was again entirely too short for her.
Every single person outside was watching them like the world has frozen and they were the only ones allowed to move. Except for one person, the leatherman jacket holding the phone, his eyes were on me. I gave him a small smile before my gaze was pulled back to the girls. The blonde had turned her head to look at me confusion washed over her face before she finally made it through the school doors.

Awesome already on everyone's radar.

Walking into school I was hit with a sense of familiarity this school was almost identical to every school I had gone to, all but one. The public school I had attended was much different than this that had been school number 6. Other than that the interior of my new school was identical to the others. Lockers lined the walls only parting to make way for wooden classroom doors.

What I assumed to be the 5 minute bell blasted over head. I muttered a quiet curse knowing very well I would have to walk into first period late. I needed to find the principles office in order to get my schedule. Hundreds of kids poured into the hallway pushing, proading and littereing old papers and candy wrappers onto the floor. Looking over the sea of heads I saw a small sign labeled: Principles Office

The sign pointed around the corner. Walking proved to be very difficult in a hallway filled with kids all scattering in different directions all going to be late. So I kept my head down following the paces of my feet; however, upon rounding the corner I knocked straight into someone else, a boy. My papers semmed to jump out of my binder and atempt to fly away completley across the hallway.

A smooth deep voice immediatly began to mutter strings of apologize. I looked up only to be greated with soft brown eyes and an apologetic smile, I lost all viable means of communication my heart started pounding in my chest. I imagine I resembled something of a lost puppy to him. Choking on my words I apologized for running into him, it was the only thing I could think to say. To my luck he looked equally as stunned. My gaze returned to my shoes as I awkwardly began to walk around him to grab my papers.

"I'm Reid" he shouted stopping me in my tracks.
I stared at him for a couple seconds not registering completely what was going on.

He stuttered, "are you new here I-I haven't seen you around ?" I took a couple steps closer to him  
"No actually we've gone to school together since the first grade " I joked. He chuckled lightly. His laugh was perfect it echoed in my head sending a smile to my face.

I continued "No matter where I go I still remain one of the clumsiest people you'll ever meet." That was a lie I normally am an agile person but in the thirty seconds I had known him he sucked all the coordination out of my body.

"Well hey its good to meet a fellow clumsy student I thought I was the only one" he said with a smile. The bell blasted overhead Reid's eyes widened and then became distressed.
"I'm sorry I wish I could show you around but I've got bio first period and Mrs Shank will kill me if I'm late again." His hands clasped his backpack straps his eyes pouting at me begging me not to leave. Butterflies twisted in my body pounding on the lining of my stomach. Playing it cool I waved wishing him good luck before turning my back to walk towards the principles office.

"Wait!" He called I heard his footsteps rapidly approaching me. "I didn't catch your name ?" He asked.
"Valarie." I answered quickly. "But um, you can call me V." Never this early would I tell someone my nickname but he made me so nervous. He smiled walking backwards to his classroom looking over my shoulder I could see him whispering my name under his breath. His sneakers squeaked lightly as his chocolate brown hair rounded the corner.

My breathing began to pick up, anxiety brewed in my stomach and adrenaline shot through my veins. The Last time I met a guy like Reid was at school number 6, a boy named Sam. Since school number 6 I hadn't felt anything close to what I felt with Sam. But with Reid he felt even more special a kind of instant obsession. The feeling felt odd and unnatural in my body Sam had been very special to me but meeting Reid I knew I would never think of Sam again.

In that moment I knew that killing Reid would be even better than Sam.