Repainted {Camila/You}

8

New Text Message from Mila: Hey, is everything okay? (Read yesterday at 12:48 A.M.)

  New Text Message from Mila: If you're busy I get it. I don't mean to be annoying, I'm sorry. (Read 9:15 A.M.)

New Text Message from Mila: I'm starting to think maybe you forgot about me...? (Read Just Now)

I felt bad, no, I felt worse than bad. I felt like I was betraying the one person who almost needed me not to, but ever since Mani and Dinah told me about what happened, I was hesitant about opening up to Camila. Everything had changed. I wasn't what she needed and I couldn't be. Waves of guilt washed over me as I shoved my phone back in my pocket, my hands quickly following. The temperature was changing, no more mild October nights. Instead, the chill of November had set in, all the leaves brown and fallen. Everything was gray outside, the clouds, the ground. Even my skin seemed gray now. 

I was on my way to Alycia's dorm to start my few final days with the doll that had quickly become a central part of both of our lives, when I saw her. She was at a bench, her hands clasped as she looked down. I could see the shape of her jaw, the way her lips and nose slightly curved into each other in the most adorable way. She had on a hoodie, one that I immediately knew wasn't providing any comfort from the chilly mid morning. On her feet were the same destroyed shoes. I realized I was staring-- caught like a deer in headlights-- and forced my feet into forward movements when she looked up as if on cue. Those chocolate eyes swallowed me whole, and she opened her mouth to say something, then stopped, getting up from her seat and hurrying in the opposite direction as me.My tongue decided to take a vacation right at that moment. She breezed past me and I wanted to reach out and stop her, to hug her, say something. But I kept walking. I threw in some headphones to drown out my own thoughts, and Bryson Tiller's voice filtered through the small speakers. Alycia's dorm wasn't too far, and with the speed I was forcing my legs to move at, I reached there in record time, shooting her a quick text to let her know I was outside.

New iMessage from Alycia: I'll be down in a sec, are you coming up??

I thought about it for a second before typing a reply in the affirmative. I was met with auburn hair and eyes that nearly matched within a minute of replying to the girl.

"Hey," she said, leaning in the doorway. I hadn't noticed she was nearly four inches shorter than me, "You look like trash, no offense. Is everything okay?"

I shrugged, "A lot going on in my mind, I guess."

She gave me a sympathetic smile, placing her hand on my forearm, "I'm here... If you want to talk y'know? Did you want to come up?" She was pulling me inside and up the stair case before I could decide whether or not I wanted to for myself. Her room was in the same condition it had been in the first day that I'd arrived, clothes still everywhere. A distinctive smoky smell filled the room and I instantly felt the wave of calm associated with Lauren's favorite thing in the world.

"So what's going on?" She asked, moving a few shirts so we could both sit. I occupied the space, crossing my legs, then uncrossing them.

"How can an connection someone be so magnetic, even when it's doomed to fail?" my eyes focused on my hands, balled tightly into fists. I couldn't look up.

"How do you know it'll fail?" The Aussie whispered quietly. I looked away from my fists, gnawing at my lip to fight back the thoughts now flooding in. I was my own biggest enemy, now, and the battle wasn't nearly done. The bed shifted, Alycia's weight moving from beside me. I watched her plug her phone into a speaker on her desk and tap a few things before a smooth R&B beat entered the room. I recognized the singer from the first few words, 'Tell me the truth, baby girl, who's been with you?' I loved The Weeknd's music, because I'd felt the themes of what he sang about--pain, longing-- these were just regular facets of my life. She rummaged around on her desk for a bit, then came back with a small white pill and a water bottle, holding it out to me.