It Was Never About... (Chibs x Reader)

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Written for: chaosinourbones
Playlist: Religion - Lana Del Rey
Find Me On: tumblr, ffn or ao3 as crimsonheart01

~(SOA)~
Everything is fine now
Let sleeping dogs lay
All our minds made up now
All our beds are made
No one's out of time, no
Chips fall wherever they may
Leave it all behind, let the ocean wash it away
~(SOA)~

The water from the cool Pacific Ocean enveloped over your toes. You wiggled them, the sand stirring up around them. You sighed, staring out into the vast horizon. This was your safe place. This was where you went to clear your mind. You laid back, your knees still bent up, not caring about the sand dusting through your hair. You gazed up at the clouds. The weather was perfect. The clouds in the sky were large and fluffy. There was a cool summer breeze that added relief to the hot Californian sun. You never knew anything else but California. It was your home. Sometimes you dreamed about going north, seeing snow and experiencing the cold. Maybe now was a good time to take a trip. You could do a lone cross country roadie. Make some new friends. Before you realized what was happening you sniffled, feeling the hot moisture seeping out from the corner of your eyes. You gulp, wiping at your tears with the back of your wrist. You were fooling yourself. There was no way you'd up and leave. Not with the given circumstances.

~(SOA)~
It never was about the money or the drugs
For you, there's only love
For you, there's only love
It never was about the party or the clubs
For you, there's only love
~(SOA)~

No one understood how you felt. All your friends said good riddance the moment he was locked up. They didn't understand your tears, nor the heartbreak. They told you that he was nothing but a criminal. He wouldn't be able to provide for you, give you the things you deserved. All you could fathom was that none of them had ever been in love before. There was no way to explain the way you felt. There was no way you'd leave him. It didn't matter that he constantly pushed you away. Telling you he was no good for you. Agreeing with your friends and family when you cried to him. You fought all the time about it. You tried to convince him that he was your better half. The two of you were meant for each other. He was your partner. The Clyde to your Bonnie. He told you that you were foolish. A simple minded little girl. Too young to realize what real love was. When he found out the possibility he'd be picked up for attempted murder, he said nasty things about you. Broke up with you. Told you to run away. Leave Charming. Find somewhere where you truly belonged. You were adamant in denying his accusations. You slapped him, shoving him. There was no way you'd leave him now. Not with the sentence looming over his head. You still remembered the last thing he murmured to you before he was taken away in handcuffs.

~(SOA)~
Cause you're my religion
You're how I'm living
When all my friends say I should take some space
Well I can't envision, that for a minute
When I'm down on my knees, you're how I pray
Hallelujah, I need your love
Hallelujah, I need your love
~(SOA)~

I'm no good for you luv. Run away, run far, far away. Unshed tears in his eyes. He broke the façade for a swift second and you saw the undying affection behind his gaze. You swallowed, your tears coming in a steady stream now. You closed your eyes, turning your head sideways. You memorized his face. The exact placement of his scars. The dimple hidden in the middle of each cheek. The memory of his Scottish burr still permanent in your head. There was a deep laughter – a man's voice – coming from a ways down the beach. Your eyes snapped open, delusional that it might be Chibs standing there, peering at you. When you focussed you saw a young couple. Probably around your age. Chasing each other around. You frowned, letting out a soft cry. They were happy. The woman had a large smile across her face, squealing as she ran. The man boomed with laughter, catching up to her and wrapping his arms around her waist. He lifted her into the air and spun around. You sat back up, grabbing a handful of wet sand and letting it run through your fingers back into ocean. Chibs used to have that same twinkle in his eye when he looked at you.

~(SOA)~
Everything is bright now
No more cloudy days, even when
The storms come, in the eye we'll stay
No need to survive now
All we do is play, all I hear is
Music like Lay Lady Lay
~(SOA)~

It was only a short two years ago when you met. Your car had broken down on the highway as you were on your way home. A police officer called TM for you and it was Chibs who had come to pick up the car. The two of you hit it off right away. Flirting and joking the entire ride back to the shop. He offered to drive you home and you were quick to jump and accept. You never did make it back home that night. He took you for a long ride, through the countryside. You coerced him into stopping near an empty field where the two of you strolled through, before getting tired and lying down. You snuggled up next to him, staring up at the stars. He regaled you with children's stories from Scotland, murmuring sweet Gaelic rhymes into your ears. The vibration of your phone echoed through your leg, and you pulled it out. It was your alarm. They'd be back in Charming soon. You stood up, wiping the sand from the back of your legs and the butt of your shorts. He wasn't expecting you.

~(SOA)~
It never was about the money or the drugs
With you, there's only love
With you, there's only love
It never was about the party or the clubs
For you, there's only love
~(SOA)~

You pulled into TM just as the black van was unloading. You took a deep breath. It'd been a long 8 months. He was supposed to be in for longer but someone must have pushed their sentence up. You turned the car off and ducked out the door. You ran your hand through your hair attempting to shake out as much left over sand as you could. You pushed your sunglasses up into your hair and tugged all your hair over one shoulder. His back was to you. He didn't see you coming. It was Jax, face filled with grief who saw you approaching. Jax gave you a soft nod and you could see the red surrounding his eyes. Something happened. You reached forward and tapped Chibs on the shoulder. His body froze and you noticed the silent interaction between him and Jax. He inched around, swallowing hard when he saw you standing there. You were prepared for the fight, you were ready for him to push you away.

"Luv?" He mumbled, his accent thicker with his obvious turmoil. "Is that really you?"

You nodded and he lunged forward, swiping you up into his arms. His arms constricted around you and you cried. You missed how this felt. You missed how he held you. He leaned into you, his weight too heavy for you to keep him up right. You heard the muffled cries as he clung to you. Together you sank to the floor, landing on your knees. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, gliding your fingers through his hair. It was longer now. He buried his head into the crook of your shoulder and you smoothed his hair down. It didn't take long for him to settle. His breathing slowed, turning into the steady breaths he usually took. He lifted back up, his eyes glistening as he stared at you.

"Thank you for coming back." He pressed a kiss to your mouth and you melted into him.

~(SOA)~
Cause you're my religion
You're how I'm living
When all my friends say I should take some space
Well I can't envision, that for a minute
When I'm down on my knees, you're how I pray
Hallelujah, I need your love
Hallelujah, I need your love
~(SOA)~

In the background you heard a woman's voice call, "Opie? Jax... Where's Ope?

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