atmosphere g.d. [complete]

0.7

december 14th
somebody else 🌺 the 1975

"so sunday" rocco smiled looking at me with his big brown eyes.

"i'm sorry rocco, this weekend can't be, but another time? i'm free next weekend, maybe on the 22nd? we could do some last christmas shopping" i said counting the days on my head.

"sure! i'll hit you up on facebook so we can talk better about it!"

"okay rocco, talk to u later!" i smiled to him and turned to a very angry grayson, his muscles were popping out, his face was serious and his hair on his face, he harshly pulled me close and kissed me, right there in front of the whole school, making me stop breathing for a little while.

"gray..."

"you're mine oriana, girlfriend or not, you're mine" his eyes were filled with jealousy and lust, i pressed our bodies together caressing his back gently, his breathing was getting slower, so was his heart, his lips were against my forehead, and for a second i forgot we were at school.

"dolan dating sad oriana? that's new" martin laughed and i felt grayson's arms holding mine so i wouldn't cry in public, this was usual, martin would always make fun of girls that wouldn't suck his c*ck, and i was one of them.

☕️💭 (trigger warning below! be careful!)

moonsblue: thank you for stopping me from killing myself the other night
jupitersexual: i can't live without you ana, you're part of me now
moonsblue: i love you bailey, i'm gonna sleep
jupitersexual: please be careful

grayson's pov

oriana's mum said ori would stay at home until christmas break, because her anxiety was all over the place, i immediately felt like it was my fault, but her mother assured me all oriana wanted was to have me around.

i knocked on her bedroom door, no answer, i walked in and saw her body peacefully asleep and a palette of pills next to her, i read the box and my heart was hurt, she wanted to sleep so she wouldn't have to deal with any of her problems. i sat next to her and tucked her in, as i did that i noticed her pale arms brutally purple, i started crying, i wasn't able to stop her pain, i hated myself for that, i snuggled her and i promised myself i'd never let someone hurt her ever again.

(end of triggering part)

i was watching the office when oriana woke up, her hair was messy and her face still red from crying, her head was now resting on my stomach, her eyes closed again and i played with her long hair softly.

"can we watch the edge of seventeen again? i miss feeling understood" her voice was trembling, and she had huge tears formed on her eyes, my heart was completely broken, oriana never really told me about her depression completely she'd just close herself until we went to the movies to watch this one in particular, i saw her crying for nearly two hours and her depression became something i was starting to understand, little by little i learnt ways to cheer her up, or just stick with her moods and be there for her.

sometimes ethan says i do too much.

maybe i do.

maybe i don't.

i just know i'm gonna marry this girl whenever she feels ready.

that's a promise.

☕️💭

i was with ethan in my room, i had this idea if i got oriana lauv tickets it would cheer her up, so i did, i used some of my saved money and got us both tickets to see him. it was raining like sh*t outside, and ethan was angry at kaia for coming in the rain just to be with him, making her chances of getting a cold higher. but they were a happy couple, and i was happy for them.

moonsblue: hey i miss you
jupitersexual: ana! how are you?
moonsblue: tired, you?
jupitersexual: just the same old bailey you know, i've been looking at airplanes and things to go to nyc in january to surprise a friend
moonsblue: that's sweet! i read a little and wrote a review on my blog
jupitersexual: i swear you watch the cheesiest movies ana
moonsblue: well excuse me bailey if i'm a hopeless romantic
jupitersexual: you're perfect just the way you are, i'm sad you can't see that
moonsblue: don't start... i hate when you say that, i'm not perfect, i'm totally not.
jupitersexual: but ana
moonsblue: no.

she'd get so upset when i tried to explain how beautiful she was, how her soul was pure and her jokes weren't funny but i laughed at her silliness everytime, i wanted her to know how loved she is, at least by me.

i looked over ori's room, her windows were open and she was in a hoodie of mine, sweatpants and her hair up in a bun, and she was dancing all around while she watching mamma mia, it would always cheer her up, she always loved abba and this movie made her love their music even more.

"hey! nice butt!" i screamed so she could hear, she looked over me and smiled shyly, her middle finger was sticking out for me and i was happy for that, she was showing some kind of reaction and i loved her smile and laugh, i loved her... but do i love ana as well?

oriana's pov

i had gotten the twins tickets for disney, i think it was a good gift, well technically it was a gift for the 4 of us, because we'd be staying together and enjoy disney together, and i know would be the perfect place to act like a couple with grayson without the pressure of school and family and everyone knowing we are together.

i smiled to myself while the laptop screen kept playing mamma mia, i really realised to myself i loved him more than anything and i needed him more than anything.

"oriana, honey, let's go have dinner, we have to talk" my father said kissing my forehead.

i went downstairs and sat on my usual stop crossing my legs and starting to attack the spaghetti on the table.

"so girls me and your mum were thinking and what if we went back to the uk?" my father looked at us with a bright smile face

🏹💭
halla! thank u for all the love around ori and grayson they appreciate it truly.
next chapter will be the twins birthday and im emo bc grayson followed me on twitter on their birthday ok. ITS EMOTIONAL
anyway
love u
🏹maggie