Your p.o.v
I can hear my heart hammering through my chest and the ringing in my ears driving me slowly insane. As I breathe heavily I can feel my lungs fill with the cold crisp air of the winter's night. There is this feeling of guilt from what I am about to do, I know they will understand my decisions I've made where for the greater good. The stars are shinning brightly from above where the clouds continue to slowly cover the full moon. I can feel the blood flow throughout my body rushing in and out of my veins and arteries into my heart. Their voices run freely through my head. Each one different from the other. Some are whispering while other are screaming but they are all saying the same thing.
I just wanted a break, a way to feel like myself again. I've tried relentlessly to find a release to find a way to relieve myself of this self inflicted pain. I've never been good with words especially when it's the most important like now. I've never know what to say or how to say it. I've taken to writing songs and poems, that is the only way to make sense of the millions of thoughts in my head.
- it's something you need to find,
Deep somewhere in your mind,
The darkest parts of you always know what to do,
Are you awake in the dead of night,
To find the wars you can not fight,
If you were to wish on a star,
Would you know where you are,
In this world of broken hearts,
Scattered are the missing parts,
If you check who is there,
Would you be fully aware,
Somethings hide in plain sight,
While other head towards the light,
When I draw my last breath,
Could you welcome death.-
I hope you could forgive me.
From the very top you can see the limits of the city. Billions of people down there in the city living thier own lives completely different from one another. Yet that is how we function every part in a different little word but those parts come together to make the world we live in. The buildings emit lights that shine through the night sky lighting up the city. The dirt is still soft from the rain underneath my feet. That will make it harder to hide my tracks. I parked my car in the forest nearby so the police couldn't pin point where my location was for at least a week. I walk closer to the edge waiting for the ground to shift under my shoes. They say don't look down, so I don't I just look straight ahead. Before I can lift my foot over the edge to my impending doom. I can see her face and hear her voice, I remember our best memories together, the way she laughed, and her smile. What I wouldn't give to be the center of her attention once again, even to make her laugh just one last time. That thought says it all. It says that she lied and I never had a chance to start with....it was all just flattery. She was never really who I thought she was. And I am something that I will always be. An idiot for believing in your lies. I take a deep breath and a step forward. I fall down the mountain silently as my childhood passes by, my adolescents, and finally time slows. Everything starts to fade into darkness I let the feeling engulf me and then it was over.
I open my eyes and look around the room. I bolt upright screaming and crying at the same time. I can't breathe it feels like I lost the oxygen from my lungs. My heart is pounding more that I've ever experienced before. I'm afraid it will burst out of my chest. I realize where I am and slowly return to reality steadily evening out my breaths. I find the note I had written for my "accidental" death clutched in my hands. I read it over and over again telling myself I'm still in a Dream....but I'm not.
