But what if it just gets worse? What if it's agony now and then - and then it's just hell later on?
-Stiles, Teen Wolf
"Stop it, please," I said as my eyes slowly fogged with burning tears. I could feel my heart in my throat.
"I can't. If I stop, then I'll never forget what happened. I won't be able to get over the way that you left me. The way I heard my heart shatter when I finally realized that you were never going to come back. When I felt my soul start to die as I watched the woman I love walk out of my life." He lightly began to rock back and forth while he stared into my eyes. The way that he was holding the knife to his stomach made my bones ache.
"But Jack, I'm right here. I came back. I came back for you. Please stop this. I need you, Jack, I love you," I told him as I extended my hand and took the knife from his shaking hands, never turning away from his lonely gaze. I felt my tears suddenly burst from my eyes.
"But you're not. This is all in my head. You can't be here. You left me. This isn't real. I-"
"It is real, Jack. If it wasn't real, could I hug you like this?" I said as I reached up and put my arms around his neck. I hugged him like my life depended on it. For a few tormenting moments, he stood there and did nothing. I was just pulling away when he jerked me back in and held me. We fell to the floor in each other's embrace and drained our eyes, which were full of suppressed tears.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Please, please forgive me." My voice shook heavily as I uttered through chattering teeth.
"It's okay, Isby. It's all going to be just fine. I love yo-" suddenly there was an ear-shattering bang that drowned out the last of his aching words and all his weight began to fall upon me. I sank further towards the ground. I began to hold his head up so I could see his striking green eyes.
"Jack? Jack?" I asked as I gently held the back of his head and I got this strange chill down my spine. His beautiful hair was drenched in a warm wetness. I slowly moved my hand away from his head. As I looked down at my left palm, I finally realized what I had been holding against Jack's skull. Blood.
It was everywhere now. I looked up and saw a figure lurking in the shadows beyond us. The figure sank further into the darkness as my head had fully lifted. I tried adjusting my eyes, but it didn't change anything. That monster that hid in the blackness of the abandoned house of my mother had vanished from the scene.
I looked back down at the man I loved. I slowly began to shake and then I began to rock back and forth with Jack still cradled in my arms. I felt my explode with those dreadful tears once again.
"Jack? Jack! Jack, please. Jack, get up. Jack! Jack? Jack. Jack, no. I love you, Jack." As I whispered those last four words, I felt my heart slowly shatter. I began to weep over everything I had just lost.
-----------------------
I looked up from my notebook to find Dr. Hollis studying me intently. We watched each other for what felt like ages. As I watched her eyes dart back and forth over my face I felt my anxiety rise. I was never any good at hiding my emotions, so I assumed that she saw.
"I uhm uh, I'm, I'm done." My voice sounded fractured and unstable.
"That's great," she smiled back without moving.
"Yeah uhm, here," I said as pushed my notebook to her.
"Oh, thank you, Isabelle."
"Not a problem, Dr. Hollis," I responded while I let my eyes scrutinize the office that I've been visiting for the last five months. Dr. Hollis began to slowly lift her head up from my "situation" that brought me here around 22 weeks ago.
"Well, I think that this really helped with your communication. I have an idea. I'm going to give you a journal on the first of every month and I'll check them at the end of every month. We will continue our regular Wednesday sessions if that's ok with you? We don't have to do it if you don't want to."
"I love it," I responded before I could even think about what she was saying.
"That's fantastic," She countered as she stood up and walked to the back of her desk. She knelt in front of her ravishing bookshelf. She stood up and I saw in her hands an exquisite black book.
"Here you go, Isabelle. I hope that you use it wisely." She spoke as she held the book out to me.
"Thank you, Dr. Hollis. I'll try to keep up with it and be a good communicator." I said while avoiding eye contact with her.
"I'll see you during our next session. Same next week, right?" she asked expectantly.
"I don't see why not. Bye, Dr. Hollis." I said as I stood up and walked towards the door. When I opened the door I was greeted by the sweetest secretary I've ever met before. As I walked out of the now familiar building, I felt something change. To be more precise, something in my world changed, shifted you could say. Suddenly I ran into a person. I look up and see a man dressed in a black hoodie hiding his face.
"Sorry." The man said as he rushed into the building.
"Don't, worry about it," I responded although he couldn't hear me. He was already gone.
