Numb (a pierce the veil fanfiction)

Introduction

Danielle

"Do you swear to speak the truth and nothing but the truth?" My right hand was raised due to the order of the courts. A tear began to fall down my face, I couldn't believe this day had come.

I couldn't believe that I had to sit up here and testify against my own father for his horrendous acts. I couldn't believe that I was ordered to be here today, when in reality I just wanted to resort back to my bed and curl into the ball of emptiness like I've been doing.

"I do." It took a lot for me to fight back my voices urge to crack.

"So explain what happened from age 12 to 17." I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked to the audience to try and find those familiar eyes that have helped me through so much.

As I tried to find them, the only thing that was found was the body that those eyes used to retreat in, but that look of love and support was no longer there. Instead I was looking into the eyes filled with anger and hate. Mom. She believes that I'm doing this for attention, and trying to break the family apart.

My sister couldn't be in the court room, because her tears have just about run dry.

"It started the day I ran in the room to exclaim to my mom about how I had just became a woman." I looked to the judge my eyes full of tears. "I needed some pads, but to my surprise in the room, the only person there was my dad. I knew that this was a thing my sister only discussed with my mom, but nobody was home and I was desperate to tell someone." I swallowed to prevent myself from losing control of everything. "My little girl isn't a baby anymore. She's a woman, was his exact words. I was happy because my sister always picked on me about not starting at the age of eleven as she did. " I looked down at my nervously twitching fingers. "I will never forget the look of lust he had clouding his vision. I also hadn't noticed that I had just intruded on him pleasuring himself." My lips began to trimmer, but I knew that if my full testament wasn't heard, then there was a chance that he could be free. That thought scared me into speaking more. "He ordered me to touch him, but I wouldnt. More forcefully, he threatened me, he told me that he would tell everyone at school that I still slept with my teddy bear. At the time, I knew that I would rather have that secret exploited throughout school then to obey him. I tried to walk away, but he forced me down onto the bed-" I choked out a cry and held the kleenex against my mouth. "I...I..I couldn't fight him." The tears that escaped my eyes caught themselves on the kleenex.

"Honey." The judge was polite and had been this whole trial. "Why didn't you tell anybody?"

"When you're twelve and your body has just been taken advantage of by someone you used to look up to and cherish, your first response is not to run to a phone or a person and tell them. No, your first response is to hide under the covers in a ball to try and ward all of the evil away, even if evil was just two rooms over, showering. I was just finding myself at 12 and I was scared." My voice cracked. "After his shower as if he didn't torture me enough, he came into my room, sat at the end of my bed and threatened me. He said that if I told anybody, he would kill my mom, and decapitate my pet dog. Then he told me he would feed them both to me."

"Stupdily, I began to live with the idea that maybe this wasn't so horrble. Maybe that was the only time and I could begin to forgive him. Little did I know that he was waiting for me in my room one night from soccer practice, because he wanted to celebrate my 13th birthday privately. I can't share anymore about this abuse your honor. He is a freak, and everyone has already got that picture of him I assume." I was more angry now than ever, with the few briefs explanations I had given. Once you relive what had happened to you, a wave of emotions go through you. Anger was something I always felt, but never expressed.

"When did the physical abuse begin?"

I cleared my throat and sipped on the water given to me in hopes to drown out my emotions.

"At this point I was numb to all feeling and I was blinded by life. I wanted everything about me to change, so that maybe, just maybe he wouldn't be attracted to me anymore. I was standing in front of the mirror one day after school and began cutting my hair off. My dad walked in on me and forced the scissors out of my hand. He yelled at me, 'What is wrong with you?! You won't be my pretty girl anymore!" He smacked me across my face and shoved me backward into the bathtub." I finished my sentence, not as upset as I was before. "That wasn't it, that wasn't even the worst of it. That was only the beginning. As horrific as that sounded, I'm ready to share more. " I was getting more and more brave knowing that everything I share will get him further and further away from me. " He had just walked into my room and ordered sex. I disobeyed, or as he put it. No matter how many times I endured those sexual acts, I never got used to the idea of my dad ordering sex from me. He had whiskey on his breath as he wrapped a shoe string around my neck forcing me to take my clothes off. He held it there until he was finished with me. I don't remember much of that night, because the lack of oxygen caused me to pass out. So I'm not sure how long that lasted your honor."

The jury began to talk over with each other, and a few more questions were thrown at me, but soon their minds were made up.

That day, I managed to avoid all contact with whom used to be known as my father. He was sentenced to 20 years, which I feared wasn't enough.

I thought my life would get better from here, but instead, it got worse.