Bangtan's Shrek-tastic adventures!!!!!!!!

The Swamp...

The room was dark. Namjoon was there on the sofa watching Shrek 2. He had a box of tissues at the ready in case he came across a particularly hot scene wink wonk. As he watch the big green man on the telly he wondered what it would be like if he was here with him. Namjoon loved Shrek so much, he had a lot of Shrek posters and knew the movie words off by heart. It wasn't Fiona or Donkey he leiked tho no no no it was just Shrek with his big green face and Namjoon wasn't sure why??? He squealed like a thirteen year old when his face got a close up on screen an kicked his lizard in the face on accident. But it wasn't a lizard it was a bunny and Jungkook walked away crying.

Jin was watching Namjoon form the door. It was dark but he had night vision goggles on. He was very jealous of Shrek because he loved Namjoon but Namjoon loved Shrek. It was a terrible love triangle. He wanted to make Namjoon happy, but Namjoon wouldn't be happy unless he was with Shrek. Jin decided that he was really hungry so he walked over to the fridge and took the last of Jimin’s jams. He magicked a spoon (he has princess powers!) and ate the jam while he watch Namjoon touch himself with fish.

Jin had a really good idea. It would make Namjoon fall in love with him!

“Namjoonie! I have a really good idea!” he say, clapping his jammy hands. Namjoon tore his eyes away from the burly green ogre and cried because he wasn't looking at Shrek.

“What dat hyung? Why u gotta interrupted my Shrek time??” He responded, because apparently he can't speak English but he can lol.

“Let's go and find Shrek’s house in the woods! We can ride on our donkiwonky to get there and stuff!!”

“That's a great idea hyung!” Said Taehyung but everyone ignored him.

“I liek that idea, Jin oppa! Let's go find us the Shreks!” Namjoon say, getting up from the couch with the fish covering his dangly parts lol. It was actually the fish Jungkook caught when they were on holiday in that one reality TV show but they took it home as a big souvenir. But Jungcrook was crying now so it made a home on Namjoon. Jin’s face was a tomato tho because Namjoon called him oppa!!!! Progresssss! Jin wanted to do gangnam style to prove his oppaness but nah.

So the boy scouts left their dorm and waved goodbye to Bang PD Nim who was clearly beginning to question his sanity when they untied Donkiwonky from the stable. They put on their armor and left Seoul for America!

“Hello, strange looking person! Do you know annyeonghaseo??” asked Jin to a man with blonde hair. Blonde wasn't naturally available in Korea so he like it very much!! The blonde stranger looked at him really confused and Namjoon speak,

“Ya, he weird. We want Shrek, so where go??” He say through his Shrek glasses as he clutch his Shrek bag. The blonde man smiled

“U speak Engleesh! Yatta! It's ober here…” he said and pointed to a building.

“Moo…” said Donkiwonky and the group of foreigners went into the building.

Namjoon stared around in wonder at the room. There was an old wooden shack in the center and he knew immediately what it was. He screamed in delight and grabbed Jin shoulders. Jin thought he was going to die. Surely he can feel my heartbeat… He said and the OST for Fall in Love with Me began to play.

“Meow!?” Said J-Hope in terror because the scream was really loud!

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!!” Namjoon chanted as Jin and the others followed him to the shack. Namjoon was taking his clothes off as he ran. Anything for Shrek! He knocked on the door and rang the doorbell that was an onion. Namjoon’s heart stopped beating when the door opened to a green man,

“OH HELLO THERE!” Sherks voice was all distorted like.

“SHREEEKKK!!!” Namjoon said, falling to the floor like they do in anime whenever there is a baka. I NEED U by BTS was playing in time with the his fall so it was basically like “Fall… (everything)” and he fell over on the “Fall…” bit.