It was the 70s, late April, and all in Hogwarts students were worrying about the exams. Remus Lupin was especially frazzled about them. He was, when this story started, bent over a piece of large parchment, scribbling like a mad man as he looked back and forth between his Potions book and his lettering. He had to dismiss all neatness for now. He just wanted to get these ingredients down so he could memorize them easier. The Potions master wasn't necessarily a bad teacher, but Lupin failed to be able to memorize all the different ingredients for each potion he taught throughout the course of his years at Hogwarts.
Remus was on his 7th year; this was his very last one, and Merlin knew he was nervous. He didn't even have time in the morning to run a comb through his hair, at least that's what he thought. First, he'd study Potions, then move on to Transfiguration, then he might be able to fit in some Astrology later that night and between his classes. Anyone who looked at him could see he was stressed, as they all were, but he was even more so, really. He had another problem to worry about.
Tonight would mark a full moon, and Remus was, well, afraid. He feared the moon, not as some odd irrational fear like needles or clowns, (though Remus wasn't too awfully fond on either of those), it was because he'd turn tonight. One would think that after living like this since he was four years old, that he'd be used to it, but it wasn't like going to the dentist, where one loathes it, but still manages to go and get it over with, the effects being gone right after one has left the dreadful place of metals and bad tasting toothpaste. No, the full moon to Remus, and really all werewolves, was equatable to us as like going to have an awful surgery done. The trip there is full of dread, the surgery itself is painful and drawn out, even with medication, and the one being operated on has to deal with what happened for ages afterward. The pain is still there.
That's why Remus especially hated the moon. He couldn't quite control what he did when he turned. It wasn't like transfiguration, where his friends could take the form of animals, but still have conscious thought. When Remus turned, he wasn't himself. He acted on emotions and primal urges, which is, in fact, the complete and utter opposite of himself.
Remus loathed it. He was frightened that one day he'd lose himself too much and hurt someone, which is why he had to rely on his friends to keep him calm. To keep those urges down.
This is also why he's writing so quickly. He wants to get this work done before his final lesson is over so he has enough time to leave the main part of the campus. He'd leave with his friends and spend the night in their makeshift house. Remus remembered the day they found that. A few months into their first year, when Remus didn't know where to go and they were worried about him just wandering out in the woods at night. That made him feel better about himself, to be completely honest. Knowing that his friends cared about him enough to spend the night with him, even when he isn't really himself.
Remus continued copying down his the ingredients to an elixir that was supposed to make an enemy have a short sleeping spell. He pondered on when he'd ever use this in his life, then he hoped he'd never *have* to use it in his life.
Remus scribbled his next to last ingredient down, when he heard the sound of his book being shut. Remus didn't have to look up to know the only person who'd pick him out of a crowd to mess with. "Hello, Padfoot."
Sirius Black, one of Lupin's close friends. Remus had met him right after he met James. James had introduced the two. Remus remembered Sirius smiling and asking him what the scars on his face were from, to which Remus didn't reply. He wasn't one for emotional honesty, rather leaning toward reserving the truth for his honest friends. When Remus first met Sirius, with his short, ruffled hair and playful eyes, he didn't think he'd get along with him.
Look at the two now. Sirius had let his hair grow out to shoulder length, and somehow at this length, it grow more curled. Sirius acted like he didn't bother with the way he looked, but Remus shared a dorm with him. It wasn't for no reason that Sirius spent his fair share of time in the bathroom.
Sirius sat down next to Remus, picking up Remus' parchments and acting as if he were actually reading them. "Mhm, yes. I see. Moony, this is actually quite-" Sirius set down the parchments and grinned, "-boring as all hell."
Remus gave Sirius a short eye roll, before reaching out to take his parchments back from Sirius, who held this above his head, "Remus, c'mon, you need to get out of this dusty place. Go outside. Get some fresh air. You've been here for-" Sirius acted as if he were wearing a watch, "-ah, an eternity."
Remus sighed, "Sirius, I'd like to get my studying done before tonight." Remus did have to give a dry smile at Sirius' attempt to hold his parchments out of his reach, when anyone with eyes could see that Remus was much taller than Sirius.
Sirius gave him a playful punch on the shoulder, "Ah, c'mon, Moony, we all know you're gonna pass the exams."
Remus' smile grew softer. "Fine. I'll go outside for a bit. Just until my next class. And,-" Remus said, easily plucking his parchments from out of Sirius' hand, "-next time, stand on a stool, you dwarf."
Sirius snorted, "Alright, then, giant."
Remus left the study hall to go outside. He was immediately tackled by James with a short hug, "Hey, Moony makes his way outside. You've been studying so much, I feel like I haven't seen you since the holidays."
Remus didn't bother being sarcastic with James as he was with Sirius. Remus gave him a short pat on the back, before James released him. James turned to Sirius, "How'd you manage to drag him away from the books?"
Sirius winked, "My charming good looks." Sirius grinned at Remus, who always seemed to be much more dry and sarcastic around him than anyone else. Remus knew Sirius could handle his sense of humor and not take him seriously. It made Remus comfortable in an odd way.
James laughed, leading the group to a shady spot he found earlier. Peter was already there, pulling at his hair with one hand and scribbling furiously with the other.
Sirius and Remus exchanged strange, knowing looks with the other. Sirius spoke up, "Wormtail, forget to do your Magical Creatures homework again?"
Wormtail just nodded, pathetically flipping back and forth between pages in his book so quickly Remus was sure he'd eventually rip an entire page out of it.
Remus couldn't quite remember how their trio met Peter. It seemed Peter just showed up into their group one day, and they just accepted it. Remus was sure he wasn't the only one that felt somewhat bad for Peter. He seemed like he was always anxious, with dark circles under his frantic eyes.
Remus shifted through some parchments he'd already filled up, handing one to Peter.
Peter's eyes darted up to him, then to the parchment. He quickly accepted it, scribbling down what Remus had written, with a quick nod of thanks in Remus' direction.
Remus put the rest of his stack of parchments in his robes. Remus felt Sirius' eyes on him. He glanced over at him, "What, Padfoot?"
Sirius grinned, "Nothing, nothing. Your hair is just sticking up."
Remus nodded, glancing away. He wasn't sure what the exchange was, but it wasn't their normal back and forth of sarcasm and profanity from Sirius' side.
Later, after Peter was finished with Remus' work and the time was spent with James babbling a bit about Lily, Remus went to his last couple of classes of the day.
The final bell finally rang and Remus' time was running out. He was relieved to be able to walk down the castle stairs with Sirius. Sirius looked around, "Where are Prongs and Wormtail?"
Remus wasn't sure. James had told him earlier that he had detention. Apparently, the Slytherin Head of House had caught him messing with Severus. Peter could be anywhere, however.
Remus just shook his head, "James will come when he can. Peter, well, he'll do the same, I'm sure."
Sirius shrugged, "I suppose." Sirius grinned a little, "Don't mind being alone with me, eh?" Remus rolled his eyes for what had to be the hundredth time that day.
They went down to the Whomping Willow, and Sirius quickly ran to apply pressure to the knot that somehow stilled the giant tree.
Remus' head was killing him. That's how it always started. With a killer headache that didn't let up until a day, sometimes two, after turning.
The two of them went down to their hideout. Sirius and Remus sat by each other on the mattress they managed to get Dumbledore to allow them to have.
Remus laid on his back, rubbing his temples. He wasn't sure he ever thanked Sirius for doing what he did for him. Remus had thanked James in a long speech of sorts, ending with James hugging him and telling him that it wasn't a problem.
Remus turned his gaze to Sirius, "Padfoot?"
Sirius was sitting cross legged on the bed, picking at one of his nails, "What's up, Moons?"
Remus ran a hand through his short, usually neat hair, "Thank you. For all this."
Sirius raised an eyebrow at him, "No problem, bud. It's what I do. Being as amazing and charming as I am."
Remus gave him a small shake of the head, smiling all the same, "Why must you ruin it?"
Sirius thought the question over for a moment or two, "I guess that's what I do, too." His large grin crossed his face again.
Remus' head was pounding. He was losing a bit of his conscious thought. Remus wanted to get out what he was trying to say before he turned. He wanted Sirius to know how much he appreciated all this. Remus cared about his friends more than anything else, but he wasn't sure exactly how to express it. And, Sirius was somehow different. In his way, Sirius made Remus both comfortable and nervous at the same time.
Remus' thoughts were becoming clouded. As the moon rose, his consciousness sunk. Remus wasn't sure how to form words. He set a hand on top of Sirius', hoping that conveyed everything he wanted to say.
And, to Sirius, it did.
