Chapter one- spencer
My breaths hitched as i darted across the expansive field hockey grounds. The grass was fresh and green, sending spring-like smells through my nostrils. I could feel the depth of the earth under my feet as i hurried to the opposite side of the practice place, preparing for a pass.
Halle, a tall ginger girl on the rosewood field hockey team, sent the ball hurling in my direction. I bent over and steadied it with my stick before hitching my feet off of the ground and starting towards the goal. Adrenaline pumped through my veins as my arms weaved the ball through the people, leading it into the goal.
A roar of appraisal from my team filled my head, drowning out any other occurring thoughts. My lips curved into a smug smile as i looked towards the coach, whose fists were thrown into the air victoriously. Halle and another girl from my team, amelia, ran over to me and threw their arms around my sweaty torso.
"Great shot," halle mumbled into the fabric of my jersey. I could feel the beads of sweat on her exposed back. Amelia gave me words of congratulations before both of them tore towards the locker room to get changed.
I dragged behind the other girls on the way to the locker room, hoping to get a congratulatory pat on the back from my coach. Sure enough, he broke away from an overjoyed parent to come and talk to me. "Amazing shot," coach sputtered too enthusiastically. "Couldnt have asked for a better end to the game."
"Thank you so much," i bubbled. He nodded with a hearty grin as i turned and walked through the doors, into the locker room. My heart raced with pride as i slipped my jersey and mesh skirt off, replacing it with jeans and a beige tank top.
The other girls were waiting outside of the stadium for me. They all ran towards me and hugged me the second i appeared outside of the locker room. Emily approached me first, and i immediately felt a familiar tingle in my stomach. "Congrats spence," she said, throwing her arms around my shoulders. I pulled her close to me, the hug lingering a few seconds short of weird.
"That was a great finish," aria piped in as we broke apart. Hanna agreed as i nodded, only half listening. Emily was dressed in a maroon t-shirt that complimented her skin tone perfectly. Her legs were dressed in a tight pair of leggings, coming down into a pair of beige uggs. Even emilys lazy day outfits were incredibly hot. If only i could tell her of the feelings i had developed for her the year before...
Hanna placed her hand on my arm. "Spencer?" I snapped out of the daze, my eyes locking with hannas.
"Sorry," i muttered, quickly pushing away the dirty thoughts about emily that had engraved themselves in the walls of my head. "Cafe?"
"I actually have a ton of homework," emily said. I felt my stomach fill with disappointment. I really had been looking forward to coffee, but if emily wasnt going, it wouldnt be fun.
"Oh yeah i forgot," i answered, quickly making up an excuse. "I have an essay due tomorrow. I guess we'll have to catch coffee another time."
Hanna eyed me suspiciously. Taking the heat off of me, i added, "but i can drive you all home if you'd like?"
"Sure," aria replied. I thanked her silently with my eyes as we all headed towards the car. Emily was still oblivious to the feelings i had for her, but i knew i would have to tell her soon.
After dropping the girls off at their house, i headed home. My parents would be
so happy to hear how good i did at the field hockey game. I pulled into the steep black driveway and parked the car. I could see melissas figure through the large dining room window.
Walking in through the front door, i hurried into the kitchen. My mom and dad were locked in a hug behind the counter. I stopped in the doorway, a smile spreading across my face as i realized how happy they were together. My eyes drifted from their entwined bodies to a piece of paper sitting on the granite counter top.
I cleared my throat, and they broke apart abruptly. "Hello spencer," my dad said cheerfully. I smiled and motioned to the paper.
"Whats this?"
My mom smiled and hurried over to me, wrapping one of her arms around me and practically flaunting the paper in my face with the other. "Melissa got a job as a flight attendant. She's going to be working at the best airline in the country." I felt my smile fade at the mention of melissas achievement. "Arent you happy for her, spencer?"
"Yeah," i said unconvincingly. As if they were gonna pay attention to my news about my field hockey game after this. Melissas figure in the dining room caught my eye. She turned to face me, her grin sweet. But i could read her eyes. The flare of triumph she had developed towards me since i had kissed her boyfriend, wren, while they were still dating flashed in her eyes. I felt my stomach churn.
"You dont have to be so jealous, spencer," my dad said sternly. I pushed my moms arm from off my shoulder in disbelief at my dads words. Was my jealousy showing that much? Of course it was.
"Im just tired of always being second place to you," i retorted. I could feel the fire in my face beginning to spread to my hands. My fingers balled into fists to keep from punching anybody.
My dad sighed. "Not now, spencer ok?" He growled in a whisper. "Your sisters happy about this, and youre not going to ruin it."
"Yeah." My voice was flatter and at an angrier pitch than ever before. I felt my face turning darker. "Im going to my room. You wont have to hear from me for the rest of the night."
I flew up the staircase and into my beautifully decorated room. I could feel my muscles ready to lash out at the first person to come through the door, but nobody did. I was all alone. Again.
Locking the golden doorknob, i found my legs leading me into the bathroom. I need something to punch. Looking around, there was nothing that i could easily hit without wrecking it. Then what would i be to them? The second place daughter with anger issues? My rage bubbled over as i opened the small medicine cabinet screwed into the wall. On the bottom shelf there were containers of pills. The second shelf held a pair of tweezers and some bandaids, and the third shelf held a razor. A beautiful, new razor, with sheer silver blades. I imagined myself digging the pieces of metal into my skin. I wasnt a cutter. But i didnt know how else to release my frustration.
I pulled the razor off the shelf and sat down on the brass toilet. Turning the tool over and over in my hands, i tried to think of a time when my parents had treated me better than melissa. All of the childhood memories of my parents buying melissa a bigger dollhouse, bringing her across the country for passing her exams, giving her more allowance, and just plain out favoring her flashed through my mind. I let out a hiss of anger before lifting the dangerous object onto my wrist and harshly dragging it across. A prick of pain passed through my wrist. The red blood trickled down the front of my arm, landing in droplets on the cream tile of my bathroom. I took the razor up again and made another slash. Another. One more. Two here. Three there. Soon enough, my arm was covered in blood. Dizzily, i stumbled across the bathroom and wrapped my severed wrist in a towel. Today had gone from an amazing day to shit. What a bummer.
