－ LOST · K.TH

t h r e e / n i c o t i n e .

尼 古 丁
n i c o t i n e

> S O O A H .

The streets still remained quite busy even at dawn. Cars and pedestrians were all heading towards their own destinations, most likely a place that they were used to refer to as "home". They briefly met at the crossroads, but rare were the ones that have ever bothered to take a second and acknowledge each other. Sooah put her earphones in and turned the music on as her feet lead the way through the moving crowd.

She kept twisting the paper enveloppe with her fingers inside the pocket of her coat while the beats and notes travelled from the earphone to her eardrums. Sooah could already foresae this money being sent off to be exchanged against those toxic goodies and surprised herself when she realized that the thought didn't provoke any - even the slightest - reaction from her. She sighed withought slowing down her race.

The neon lights of a billboard by the bus station lit up the commercial poster of a popular cigarette brand. On the bottom of the image was a molecular caption warning the public of tabacco's many dangers. Ironically enough, a man was leaning against the shelter while holding a fuming stick in his hand. He sure didn't seem to be affected by the unattractive writing at all. Sooah suddenly realized how much she craved the feeling of the nicotine smoke filling her lungs and stopped right in front of the entrace of the convenience store. A vague masculine voice coming from the radio that was playing inside the shop could be heared even from the outside. She glanced at the few clients that were enjoying their meals by the window and decided to go in.

ding dong!

As she expected, the packs of cigarettes layed all together on a shelf near the counter and despite the apetizing scent of the dumplings and the skewers, Sooah didn't feel tempted by any of the snacks that they had to offer. So she walked straight towards the cashier that was welcoming her with a prefessional smile on her face.

－ Good evening, miss. How can I help you?

－ Uh, I'll take a pack of Raison, please. It'll be all.

The woman nodded somewhat hesitantly but kept her silence. Sooah didn't have the legal age yet to purchase cigarettes, but rare were the ones that could tell by her mere appearance that was only 17. Maybe it was because of her uncommonly bare face and the many traits of fatigue that usully wouldn't show up on the face of an average Korean teenager, or perhaps her oddly sober outfit that appeared unbearably boring to the rest of her generation.

"...So these were the words that President Moon has spoken about the much mentioned topic..."

The same voice kept flowing out from the speakers while she proceeded to take the money out from the enveloppe in order to pay for her purchase. However, she couldn't possibly care less about what the president had to say. Nothing he could do would change her life. Even if they had to declare war, she would still have to carry on the same routine everyday. The employee thanked her with a bow and wished her a good day as she took the paper box in her hand and extracted a brand new cigarette from it.

"...Just tuned in, reported a missing case, Kim Taehyung, male, aged 22 has been reported missing since last night around 9:30pm. Height around 1m82, remarkable traits are silver grey short hair and was lastly seen wearing a denim jacket and black ripped jeans. If you have any useful information, please contact the police..."

－ ...Another Kim? Wasn't a little Kim girl reported missing too not so long ago?

－ Ah yeah the 15 year-old one? I don't know, honestly. There's a whole lot of people named Kim anyways. I bet it's just a coincidence.

－ Yeah. Hope they're okay, though. The parents must be mad worried...

There must be hundreds of millions of people named Kim in South Korea, two of them appearing on the news sure wasn't something that would have triggered any extra reaction from Sooah. So without any more delay, she stepped out of the door.

Her worn-out red lighter was resting motionlessly inside the small pocket by her chest, waiting quietly to be used. It hasn't seen the daylight in a while, probably a month or so, since the last payday. She let the smooth plastic matter slide between her fingers and took it out. As soon as she pushed the trigger down, a flame appeared and she instinctively approached the tip of the cigarette, which inevitably caused the paper and the dried tabacco wrapped inside it to chatch fire. Sooah took a long sip of the smoke and kept it trapped inside her body for a short instant before letting it out. It felt good, as if her worries flew out of her along with the smoke.

How much did she wish that it was true.

In an unbelievably short time, she had already reached her destination. It was like the cigarette had consumed itself in the blink of an eye. The chattering and the echoes of the city faded away. Only a few hysterical screams of the horns managed to be heared distinctively in the strangely dreary neighbourhood, surprisingly not so far away from the city. It was almost natural for most to forget about those suburbs, even though a huge part of the population actually happened to find their only refuge in those "meritless" places.

－ Who's that?

She sighed.

－ It's me.

The reply, subconsciously monotonous because of the fatigue, didn't evoke any form of reaction. Somewhat offensed by the lack of interaction, Sooah added while sarcastically forcing herself to put a bit of drama in her tone:

－ I'm home!

Her - faked - emotions didn't seem to be as efficient as she hoped they would be, but Sooah was expecting this result anyways. She couldn't even say that she was disappointed.

The scent of alcohol still occupied the atmosphere. It seemed like the intoxicating mist labored to fade away despite the few opened windows. Sooah dropped her bag and put her coat on the back of on the wooden chair as she proceeded to take her shoes off, but the sound of something falling on the ground made her take her eyes off of her shoelaces. The shiny, plastic-wrapped handsized box of cigarettes was lying down calmly on the floor. The lid snapped open because of the tumble, which caused a few orange tips to point out from the opening.

Unfortunate coincidence, Um Sungmi managed to catch a glimpse of the scene before Sooah landed her hand on the item, and her voiced raised up from the sofa on which she was downcastly resting.

－ You... you've got money?

－ I work, mom.

Unfazed, Sooah picked up the pack of cigarettes and put in on the table before walking towards the fridge to get herself something to fill her unsatiated stomach.

Is being hungry a mistake? A crime? Probably not. But that gave Sungmi the opportunity to fetch her daughter's coat and bag while Sooah couldn't pay attention to her. By the time Sooah lifted her head from behind the fridge's white door, her mother was already tearing her bag open and diving her hands into her pockets. Sooah barely had the time to blink and process the information that she had already landed her hands on what she was looking for: the paper envelope with the crumpled banknotes inside.

－ No! Drop that! Let go, you monster!!