The Very Special Bond

The Beginning of the End

        My heart can't stop racing. My breath comes to a stop. Am I alive? I must be, but why does it feel like my body lifted of the weight of gravity? My brain tells me to smile, yet my muscles are stiff under the presence of lust.

        I'm not here, I'm not close to this spectacular being. He is not letting that breath taking smile shine down upon me. It's impossible, he can't stare at me with such ease, with those honey brown eyes filling me with joy. Please smile, please, come! Sadly,it keeps hiding where it thinks it is safe. Finally it comes and wipes it self on my face from ear to ear. I cant let it show, he cant see me like this. Not happy that he is here, not being electrified with every touch he plants on my skin. So, I push him lightly and chuckle.

"Shut up!", That smile keeps following me no matter where I go. Even though I want to hide again.

"Fine, OK.", He looks at me again. My heart skips a beat. He has always had that effect on me, to be honest I love it.

"Michael don't act stupid!", I chuckle and look at him as he laughs. Wow. Michael just might be the one...

"So.." I hate the 'so' moments those are the worst moments in a relationship. Or the beginning to one. Does this mean he's going to ask me out? I really hope he does! Then I would-

"Move!", a voice comes along and pushes me and Michael in opposite directions. "You didn't think I'd let you guy sit here all alone and flirt did you?", As I look at my friend I noticed how long her curls were.

"We were not flirting! So go some where else Tina!", is the first thing he says to greet Tina, before grasping my hips. My hands rest on top of his with that same stupid smile.

"Get a room school is for socializing and relaxing! NOT for getting lucky you nasty freaks."

        Suddenly my cheeks redden as I glance down to see my fingers en-lacing with his. Think, think! But I cant, I want to just stay in this moment forever.My ears somehow block out the roars of all the teenagers surrounding us. They only let me here Tina, and Michael.

"Look!", My eyes follow the trail of Tina's finger.

"Oh god get over it! Just tell him you like him already."

She scoffs. "Tell Michael you love him." My eyes give Tina a cautious look. Immediately she understands it and uses it to get her way. (Like always).

"Do you have a mute button?", Michael snaps at her still faithfully clinging to my hips. Slowly my shirt starts to ride up.

        My hands struggle to pull the rising cotton shirt. I was too late Micheal's hands touch my bare skin. As a reaction my skin jumps under his cold hands. Instead, heat rushes through my body as if it was a shiver.

"Oh sorry.",Michael says in a low voice. By the way he mumbled it made it seem like he didn't mean it at all. Does this mean he likes me?! No,i'm reading too much into this. All need to worry about is conceal these feelings, and keep them held tight.

        He makes me smile, and laugh, he makes me feel like I'm whole. We click we have that bond that lets us be able stick together no matter what. No matter how upset  or mad we are at each other. He is my half, he is my everything. 

        We met in 6th grade honestly, i hated his guts! He was annoying short and stupid. But when i saw the look in his eyes when everybody shunned him, something in me melted. Something in me wanted to be there for him. It does make me selfish for wanting to 'fix' or 'protect' him. It actually makes me a jerk. Somehow, in the process I fell hard. I fell for the way he laughs when ever he is nervous. The way his smirk makes my insides curl. Most of all I love the way that he looks at me like I'm the only person in the world. He says my name not like its a bunch of letters but like its a word he can't seem to hate. Something he will forever cherish. I wish he would cherish me the way I cherish.

        Tina looks at me and Michael and smiles then laughs. She looks at us like we're an item, like we belong to only each other and no one else. It's sweet in it's own awkward way. An invisible smile implants itself on to my face. Act normal! So my head straightens and my poster becomes the board it's supposed to be. No matter how much i hate it I wipe Micheal's hands from off my waist and play it off with a smile. I don't know when, but I need to tell them I'm going to move. Far, far away...I don't want to hurt them but I'm going to leave and can't change that at all. 

        The thought of leaving them hurts more than anyone can imangine. worst than losing a beloved pet, more than than losing your sight. Right now I can't imangine my life without Michael, but can he imangine a life without me? Can he wake up knowing he may not ever seeme again? Knowing he could go to school and find someone to replace me because he needs to grieve. Or am I just thinking too highly of myself...

        Is this a good-bye to everything I've learned to love? Or is it a hello to a new life? Right now I don't know what I want. I want him, I want his love and smiles and laughs. But, I also want to start over and start a new life away from Grey Tigers High school. I need to tell him, now, while Tina is here. But the words just fell and hid, I can't find them. No matter how long I look for them they are not coming. A ragged breath comes out. They look at me with worried looks. The bell for lunch rings.

" Shall we go?", I lock my arms with Tina and Micheal and head out of the class. It feels like I'm walking to a new beginning. The question is: Am I ready?