Hey, are you still there? (SeaPeeSound)

I didn't want any of this

Please just let this lesson end... Im tired of people giving me weird looks. I have been stuck on the same page in my book for the past 10 minutes. I feel a sudden wetness on my face and t-shirt. "H-Huh?" I say shocked. I look up and see the girl who was sitting next to me holding and empty glass and giving me a death stare. I remove one of my headphones. "Screw you! I was, like, speaking to you and you were ignoring me. Jackass!" The girl shouts practically in my face. I tense up and prepare myself to either be slapped or ganged up on. My whole body tenses and I squeeze my eyes shut. "Hey, leave him alone Sarah." A voice calls out from behind her. "But out of this Callum. And why should I even listen to you?" The girl who I guess is now going to be known as Sarah or Satan in my books. "You perfectly know why Sarah. How would that affect your reputation? Picking on the new boy at school wouldn't sit well with your father now would it? After all, this is a no bullying school." Callum says smugly. I don't know who's speaking. The girl is blocking my view. She sighs in disgust then turns back to me. "Next time, reply when someone as important as me speaks to you." She glares at me before heading into a group of friends. I look around but I can't see anyone looking in our direction. Callum... Who is that... I sigh quietly and grab my backpack off the ground. I quickly speed out of the classroom and into the boys toilets. Luckily, they were only just slightly down the corridor. I head in and head straight for the sink. I remove my red and yellow jacket to get a good look at where the water was. It was all down the front of my t-shirt. I sigh and reach into my bag and pull out my white t-shirt I wore in fitness. I didn't do any exercise so it should be fine to wear... Right? Sure, I don't really care to be honest. I remove my yellow t-shirt and throw on my white one. At least no one came in as I changed. I shoved my previously not wet t-shirt into my bag and threw my jacket on. I had a bit of a fight with it and I got pretty angry. However, I won the fight so in your face jacket! I grabbed my backpack and stormed out of the toilets. Wow, I never thought I'd be meeting Satan today. Well, I did meet an ange- No! Oli, stop it! Thats a stupid thought! Why are you thinking that! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I mentally punch myself. God Damnit Oli... Why are we like this? Why are we so... Confusing? I sigh and listen out. A sudden clanging and ringing fill my ears. Welp, looks like the bells ringing so, next period! Yay... I wish this school day was over. Well, at least its lunch and I get a break from this. I don't think Im prepared to eat at the moment... My stomach would just reject it because I'm feeling sad. Well, I guess I should just wait in the music room. That is my next lesson after all. Plus they don't lock any if the classroom doors so I'll be aloud in. I swivel my body around in one quick heel spin and start walking up the stairs behind me. I wonder what was going through that persons head when they stood up for me... Wait, why were they standing up for me anyway? My thoughts were cut short because....

I reached the top of the stair case. I let out a big sigh and I headed into the music room. The teacher was already in there setting some things up. We had Mr Likencha again. He must teach all performing arts or something like that. "Oliver, its good to see you again. Tell me, why are you not enjoying lunch? Most people are eating, socializing or playing sports outside." I sigh and walk up to him. "Something happened last period and I just dont really feel like eating at the moment... As for outside, Im not the athletic type... I d-don't get along with jocks either..." He sighs and pats my on the shoulder. "It is ok. I understand completely. Go, take a seat and do whatever you like for awhile. But if you do something that I don't like I will tell you. Ok?" I gulp and slowly nod. He seems cool but he's also really scary... I quickly head to the corner. Its on the side with the door so at least Im slightly closer to the back. "Why do you always sit in the corner, back row?" Sir asks me. "I do it because then I only have two people near me... And if I'm at the b-back then no one can look at me from behind..." He smiles and laughs. "That is a pretty smart plan. You are smart boy, you know that Oliver." I smile. "Thank you..." I whisper under my breath. "So, earlier you told me you like music. What can you do in music?" I gulp and immediately freeze up. He won't ask me to preform infront of everyone... Thats not what he's like but still... "I-I play the piano and I sing... T-That doesn't mean Im good at it though..." He smiles gently "Maybe you show me sometime, eh?" I nod "Y-Yeah... Sometime..." I put my earphone back in but I turn dows the volume this time so I can actually hear the stuff around me. The teacher eventually leaves me alone in the classroom. Im not sure where he's going but its probably just to eat. I look down to my stomach. A random pain shoots through it. "I know you're hungry but Im really not up to it..." The pain gets slightly worse. I grab my stomach and squeeze it tight. This normally works. And it did. The pain slowly died away. I turn my volume back up again so I can get fully into the next song. I shut my eyes and relax. Im too stressed out... But, you know what always calms me down? Singing. "Not here..." My inner voice screams at me. "But if not here then where?"
"No where. Not at school. Please." I block it out. I don't want to do this but I need to. I can't do this... Yes I can. No one's here. No one will be here for ages. It'll be fine. "There's no way to say this songs, about someone else. Everytime your not in my arms, I start to lose myself." I began to start singing. It felt good. I felt at home again. I felt comfortable again. I carried on singing the rest of the song. "La da dee, La la da doo, La da da me, La da da you, La da dee, La la da doo, Theres only me, theres only you." I enjoy singing. It helps calm me down.
~le time skip to the end of the song~
"When you're gone I'll think of you..." I smile to myself. That was amazing. I mean my singing was probably off key but it felt amazing. I slowly open my eyes and take my earphones out. Wait, there's silence but there shouldn't be... I open my eyes fully.
Oh no....
Im such an idiot...
My entire class is sitting in there seats, staring at me. I quickly stand up, bag in hand, and bolt out of the classroom. How could I be so dumb...? Well, that has a simple answer. Because I'm stupid, an idiot and just all around... Useless. I can feel the tears threatening in my eyes. Just let them go... You've already shown how weak you are... I push open the library door and slam it shut once Im inside. I run down the stairs in the library almost falling down them, but I steady myself out. I run over to the table in front of me and I take a seat. I lean my elbows up of table and cry into my hands. "You're so weak..." I told myself "You're so pathetic..." Just let the tears go "You can't do anything right..." I begin to weep more. Why am I like this? Why am I not excepted for who I am? Why do I not except myself? I shut my eyes as they burn. I cry more violently then I think I ever have. Its not fair... None of this is fair...