What if...

no more lies

The minute Matthew got home, Aurora wasn't there. She had taken her daughter to do their nails together. Dr. Walsh wasn't home either; it would be just between the two boys...

  There was absolute silence until Matthew opened the door to the bedroom. Ryan jumped and sprung to his feet so fast Matthew got wary. He just saw him run toward him so he prepared for blocking him.  Instead Ryan grabbed him by the biceps and questioned him.

  "Where were you? I kept calling and no answer! We thought something happened to you."
  "Ryan stop it, I saw you fondling a guy, or was it the other way around?"
  "Stop being sarcastic! I'm here worrying about if you are alive and you."
  "Stop being a hypocrite! Why avoid what you did? And don't tell me he forced you or that you didn't know and didn't accept it because you stayed with him a while. And that's before I couldn't take it anymore and left!"
  "I... I'm sorry..."

  Ryan's hands covered his own face in shame. Matthew kept on walking around the bedroom just to see clothes on the floor... The bed was all in shambles. He got a very bad idea.

  "Was he here?"
  "What???"
  "I said... Did he sleep here."
  "Ok what do you want? Do you want a confession? No, he didn't sleep here, we went to HIS place and YES I fucked him!"

  Matthew didn't say another word. Nor did he break down crying or even look at him. From then on, Ryan's words were hazy. Matthew just focused on grabbing his luggage and refilling it fast with his own clothes. He didn't really have other belongings there, thanks to his mom.

  He made sure to go through the laundry too and once he had all ready, he looked around. The yelling had ceased, and Ryan was frozen across the room apparently waiting for an answer.  Matthew grabbed his luggage and simply uttered three words.

  "Good bye Ryan."

  Ryan was biting his lips and couldn't move. He wanted to stop him but he didn't know how. He had no words. It was all screaming inside him but he couldn't move because he knew it all happened because of him.

  Every step of the way back outside made Matthew reminisce so much. He just couldn't help think of why he left the time before this one. The living room felt so cold and once he hit the other end of the door, it was windy and street sounds again. It's as if he was really leaving one world to go into another.

Without loosing time, he took an uber to a hotel. He had quickly booked the reservation outside the house since he had been there before. The cost for the hotel didn't matter. He knew he could trust his mom to help him out if he needed to.

Once inside the hotel room, he dropped his luggage in the closet and placed the electronic key on the night stand.

His heavy panting became tears in no time, as he dropped to his knees. He covered his face, trying to mute the heavy breathing. His phone began ringing so he cancelled the call and turned off his phone. He wanted to forget everything.

After a shower, he got back in the bedroom and got into a set of pijamas before sliding under the covers. He still couldn't believe he saw his boyfriend kiss someone so deliberately. That made him feel anguished and very lonely.  There was something glass-like inside him he envisioned and felt breaking after that thought. From then on, he would not think of Ryan the same way.

  He stayed the afternoon watching TV and ordered mint chocolate chunk ice cream. That's all he ate for a while.

  Somehow he remembered Peter. He texted him that he was ok.  Peter called him right away.