There he was again, talking to that girl. No matter how many times anyone tells him that she is just using him, he brushes it off. He says that she really loves him, that she will always love him, but everyone knows its not true. Everyone but Noah.
She always flirts with him. All the hair twirling and arm grabbing gets old after a while, but not for Noah. He finds it comforting. He can say the simplest of thing and she will laugh at it. He says it cute, we think its annoying.
Things started changing the longer he talked to her. He left our lunch table the other day to go sit with her. I dont bother trying to remember her name. She isnt worth my time, hell, Noah isnt worth my time anymore. He made promises to me. Some little, some large. They were all promises he couldnt keep. He said he would never leave or forget about me. That we would be friends forever. I ended up falling in love with that goof of a man. He was the only one that saw me suffering. The only one who didnt turn away when people would hit me. I concidered him my savior. He never made fun of me like everyone else. He just didnt have it in him. I loved, no, still love him but he doesnt love me back. He fell in love with some blonde bimbo who sleeps with anything with two legs. Why cant he see that she's only using him? Why cant he love me instead?
The days pass on and we stop talking. He's been hanging around with Maya or Maria or whatever her name is. I think they are dating. He's not there to help protect me anymore. The people have started calling me names and pushing me around again. They do anything they can to try and hurt me. Out of all of them, Noah has hurt me the most. Its not the bullying from all the others that hurts me anymore, its Noah.
As time went on, things stayed the same. Same people, same problems, same thoughts. I wasnt sure how to feel anymore. My best friend had turned against me. Noah is just as bad as everyone else these days. He turned to pushing and shoving. He doesnt insult me, just hurt me. Every day it was the same thing. Get up, go to schoo, get beat up then come home. I had no one to talk to and nothing to do. I was all alone with no one to help me get through. I was left alone with my thoughts. They took a toll on me. I didnt sleep. I didnt eat. I hurt myself on top of others hurting me. I began thinking of what my life, or others lives would be like if i did things differently. Would Noah and i be friends if i stood up for myself? Would he still be dating the blonde? Would anyone miss me when im gone?
The day when Noah really hurt me, i knew things had to end. He pushed me, hit me, kicked me. He did anything to hurt me. Everyone watched as he kicked my already aching body over and over again. No one tried to help. They just let it happen. All the pain and sadness had started eating away at me. I became a shell of the person that i used to be. I no longer talked or ate. My parents didnt worry. They thought it was just a phase that i would out grow. They didnt understand and i didnt explain. They asked about Noah and when he would come over next. They really did like him. He was a good person a few months back. I loved that goofy, adorable man and no matter how much he's hurt me, i will still love him. It may be wrong but i do. I still love the good and caring side of him even though that part may be gone.
I started writing goodbye notes a few days before everything happened. I wrote them for my parents, for Noah and to all the people who have hurt me. I told the truth in those letters and put my hear into them. I packed up some family pictures that i didnt want to leave behind and the necklace that Noah gave to me on my sixteenth birthday. I put eveything in a small bag, then began getting ready. I wanted to deliver the notes to everyone. I wanted them to know why i did this. They will know why i left and why i didnt care anymore. I grabbed my bag then walked out the door.
I put the notes outside their houses, making sure they are noticeable. I try not to be seen doing this but its hard. Its almost dark out but the street lights give me away. I try to avaiod them and stay in the shadows but i dont succeed. I leave a note at their doors, making sure they are visible. I make sure i stop at Noah's last. When i reach his door, i hear noises coming from the other side. I try to make out what is being said but i cant hear. I look in through the window but turn away. Inside, i see him on top of her. I wipe away the tears that begin to fall and leave the note at the door. I knock on it then walk away.
I dont turn back to see him open the door or hear him yell out. I just keep walking. I reached the bridge that would be the last thing i ever see. I stand at the railing and cry. I cry for the friend ive lost, my parents that i hurt and anyone else that ive ever harmed. I cry for what feels like hours, then, i climb over the railing. I turn around and see the cars pass by. There arent many, maybe a few that pass by. None of them stop. I work up the courage to slowly lean back. The further i go, the closer i am to freedom. I let go then hear someone yell my name.
"Alex!"
