The Mask Hiding The Real Jay

A Long-Short Day...?

Well, the first day I've been back to school after a damn battle Royale is today. The battle Royale was caused because of, well, me. Like always. Although it was more me getting jumped than it was a battle Royale. Because I don't fight. Yet they pinned it on me and said I was trying to hit on one of them, bunch of b****rds. I may be demisexual but for Christ's sake, I don't go trolling for booty. I look for the right one. And I found her... Until I lost her. I lost her to my stupidity. It's all my fault. I broke her heart by revealing my true self. Ironically, and quite literally, I had a heart attack in the middle of the, ya know, private section of the park. Although she hated my guts, she had the courtesy to call 911 for me. They rushed me to the hospital where, again, I came across another health issue. I ended up having a seizure, somehow. But, truth is, I think the seizure was worse than the heart attack. Anyways, moving on, I'm in the principal's office, waiting on her whole speech to me, to never start fights, yada yada yada. I've heard this speech exactly 26 times. I'm not over exaggerating, it really is 26 times. Hand to God. The only thing that's kept me from expulsion is my sexuality. No, seriously, they don't want a lawsuit on their hands so they won't expel me. 

A few hours later, after the whole ridiculous speech — not gonna waste your time with that annoyance — I was let go. I grabbed my bag and just walked out of the school—my God, that is a real safety issue, isn't it? Anyways, I walked to the exit of the building and was walking home. When I got home, surprise surprise, my parents were... having relations. Don't worry, I didn't walk in on them, I just saw a blue ribbon on our door knob. Seeing that, I just walked away from the house and went to a McDonald's, then to the park. Then this really cute girl decides to walk up to me, dressed very, very inappropriately, asking for my number. I literally lied to just be alone. "Hey, cutie, mind if I get your number?" She asked me. And of course, being the amazing liar I am, I said "My bill wasn't paid. Sorry." She clicked her tongue and walked away. See, I have like a sixth sense for detecting homie hoppers immediately. Don't even have to talk to them. But I legitimately don't get what's so cute about me. I'm honestly fairly ugly — least, I think I am — so I don't get that. But I guess everyone has unique taste. After I finish my McFlurry, which I was SUPER lucky to have because the machine was "just fixed" which is a complete lie, they just hate making them, I went home to see if they were still going. And sure enough... They were still going. So I just went to my friend Greg's house for a surprise visit. He seemed pretty pleased to see me. "Oh, waddup Jay!" He told me when I knocked. "Sup, Greg. Mind if I chill here?" Of course, Greg didn't mind. After playing about 5 matches of two different fighting games and building a HUGE building in Minecraft, I decided to go home. Thankfully, my parents were done. So I went in, dropped my bag onto the floor and passed out on my bed. Home Sweet Home.