Risk It All *Bradley Simpson Fan-fic*

Chapter 3-Life Changes

I looked around to see three different expressions on each of their faces. One, Lucy hovering over the sofa with bulging eyes, waiting for me to say she can run over and hug me. Two, Brendan looks like a blank canvas. Then I finally looked at my auntie, shocked. She looked like she just witnessed a ghost say 'boo'. "Well? what do you think" I asked to put a stop to the awkward silence. Lucy ran over just like I thought she would, hugging into my chest ."Oh my god I'm going to miss you so much, please let me come over a see you and we can go shopping, go on the London Eye, travel the city, see Buckingham Palace and maybe we can meet the queen!" followed by a squeal. Wow. That came out a lot faster then I thought. "No" my aunt uttered, again, clearing her throat, projecting it louder this time . "no way in hell you are going to move to London" she demanded. Wow. Another thing I didn't expect. This family is full of surprises. I don't know what to say, I thought she would be happy for me starting a new and exciting life for myself. Doing something for myself for once in my life without her help.

She sat back into the sofa sliding down into the worn out cushioned seat with folded arms. If she's picking a fight I'm ready. "Excuses me? I wasn't really asking for your permission, you are not my mother!" emphasizing the 'not'. "You don't own me, I'm 18 next month so I'm pretty much an adult. You're my auntie Rosie and nothing else. You aren't my mam so you can't do anything to stop me!" I almost screamed through gritted teeth, feeling the blood rise inside of me.

"No Kaytlyn no, I'm not your mother! But I have been for the past how many years? Yeah exactly. I am your guardian. Your so called mother doesn't care whether you were dead or alive!" Wow that hurt. "So don't play the mother game with me! I promised you and this family that I will keep you safe and that's what I'm doing! So don't bother talking back to me, this is the end of the conversation, now go to your room before I do something I will regret later on" she stated subtly.

I left the room with blurred vision. 'Your so called mother doesn't care whether you were dead or alive"  Cheers. That hurt. I know what she did, I will never be able to forgive her for that but she's my mam. I know it's hard to understand but she did take care of me until my sister left. So that was like a punch in the gut. I ran up the stairs, trying to get my breathing back to normal, holding back the needed tears. Not now, I'm leaving whether she condones it or not. I'm not happy here and I can't think of being any other place than London right now. I have the dream I've always wanted right in front of me so I'm not going to let it slip away from me. After about 5minutes trying to compose myself I decided it was pj time. I pulled open my wooden drawers and grabbed my over sized rugby t-shirt my grandad got me after he went to see Ireland play in the city and a pair of black cotton shorts. I quickly changed and tied my hair into a bun securing it with a large grip. I washing my face and scrubbed my teeth. I took my contacts out and put my black framed glasses on. I hopped onto my bed throwing a fluffy blanket over my knees. Rachel. I have to tell Rachel.

Within a second I had the phone pressed to my ear. "Hello gurllllll" she answers. "Hey shithead" "hey that's rude" she said sternly but I could tell she was holding the laughter back. " I need to speak with you" I replied trying to make the conversation become a little more serious. "please don't say it, you're breaking up with me aren't you." I was defeated, the laughs just rolled off my tongue. I composed myself to answer back. "No I really need to talk to you, so over the phone or do you want to come over, it's kind of serious I guess, your chose" within a split second she replies. "I'll be over in less then 30 okay, lave you" "love you too hurry up though" we both hung up.

Since I had some time to kill I let my mind run off with itself. I started to think of my family. We can all stay in touch and it isn't like I speak to everyone all the time anyways. I have quite a large stereotypical Irish family as well. My mam only had two kids and so did my auntie Rosie but all together I have 19 first cousins. Don't even bother with second and third, no lie but there's around 40 or 50 at least. We're spread all around the world, America, Australia, Canada, Spain and I've a few cousins in England as well so I won't be too lonely I guess. It's not like I'll never speak to them again, they all have my phone number, my email, they will have my address soon so they could write to me and also there's Skype so I don't see a problem at all. And it's no like I'll never see them again either, I will visit home and we will see each other on holidays and birthdays and anniversaries and all the other family events there is.

I let my imagination get the better of me and time was up, Rachel was already in the room. I positioned myself up right and I took a deep breath, this made a confused expression appear on her face. "What's wrong, what's with the emergency meet up?". I took another deep breath to try and relax my anxiety. "You know that I love you and that you're like a sister to me". She nodded her head signifying a yes. "You've been a blessing to me and you have helped me through so much, so please don't hate me for what I'm about to say." She took my hand and looked me in the eyes, water filled them. I knew I had to spit it out because she is not a crier. "I'm think I'm going to move to London." She let go of my hand, shit. Next thing I knew I was tackled down onto my back. "I hate you Kaytlyn you know that, I thought something bad happened, like you got pregnant or something." I pushed her off of me and sat myself back up again. "That's not funny" I responded holding back a smile. She looked down at her hands feeling bad for what she just said. I jumped on top of her laughing pulling her into a hug. "I'm only messing with you, no way in hell will I ever be pregnant" I laughed. "Still I'm sorry Kaytlyn I should of thought before I said anything". "seriously it's okay, now what do you think? do you think I should go?" I asked. "DUHHH" she said looking at me as if I was stupid. "If that's what you want to do then do it, don't let me get in your way. I can always fly over if you miss me too much" she grinned. "Well I haven't spoken to an estate agent yet or anything but I'll sort everything out with my grandad because he really wants to come along with me, I know I won't find it straight away but I don't care I just want to get over there and get it all started up". " Well, I'm happy for you and I hope I can come over and see you and have best friend time. I better be aloud help out though" she grinned pullinh me into a hug.

Rachel stayed over for a couple of hours catching up on things we like to speak about face to face. We do call and text each other whenever we can but we're the type of people who like visual conversation rather than virtual. We spoke about our graduation and life plans. That's what I like about having Rachel around. We could sit down and have an hour's conversation about a cup and it would be interesting, or a deep or serious conversation and it would be just as interesting. We spoke about the future, I guess I sparked that up but it still wasn't our first time speaking about it. About dreams and ambitions in life, it was quite fascinating actually. She left after around 11 and promised we would speak to one another the next day.

That's it I guess. Moving to London will be the best thing I can do for myself. I have millions of opportunities ahead of me over there. I guess I have to pull myself together and start searching.

After Rachel left I stayed up for most of the night searching for numbers of different estate agencies until I found the perfect one. I will go and see my grandad and have an important conversation about it tomorrow. I can feel the butterflies inside my stomach and it's amazing, finally something good comes out after all I've been through. Light at the end of the tunnel and one says. Happiness finally. Suck on it universe.